Sixth Man: Fencing

Are these astronauts?

One of these two people is a Brown student, hopefully.

Let it be known that yes, I know I could have begun this post with a shitty sexual innuendo playing off a term like “long-swords” (not an actual type of fencing equipment) but I’m above that. I think. Time will tell. Anyway, here’s something you probably didn’t know unless you’re on the Brown fencing team: Brown fencing had its first, last, and only home meet of the season over the weekend. It was greatly exciting, and not just because I spent most of the time on my phone following Brown basketball’s overtime barnburner with Yale (we lost–and just when I thought March Madness was calling to us!).

What you get at a fencing meet is roughly 90% chaos and 10% swordfights. I don’t know which part is more elemental to the fencing meet ecosystem, but probably both are necessary. Basically, the OMAC turns into what appears to be a large slumber party between a collection of medieval knights, some of whom are having horseless jousts around the perimeter of a circle of backpacks and other shit that six colleges worth of fencers have deposited in the middle of the gym. (That was probably the worst description ever given of anything, not just a fencing meet, but basically it’s really hard to figure out what’s going on, where Brown’s fencers are at any given time, who’s winning, and why fencing uniforms are so ugly.)

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