We have recently been informed that Brown’s Administration has placed sanctions on all non-ADOCH-volunteer Brown students with regard to the infamous Ice Cream Social. This year, all pre-frosh have been given special high-tech lanyards that will scan them into all ADOCH events. What’s next, the BroPo officers as robots with authorization to kill?
To avoid a dangerous campus-wide revolt, here are some options for getting your hands on ice cream of the elite:
-Seduce the volunteer nearest to you. Before he/she gets his/her clothes back on, steal the red shirt.
-Tape yourself to the back of an innocent pre-frosh.
-Dress up as a professor with intentions to ‘mingle.’
-Drop out of Brown, re-apply, get accepted, and attend the Ice Cream Social as a legitimate pre-frosh.