ADOCH Ice Cream Social is the forbidden fruit

Our thoughts exactly

WHY?!

We have recently been informed that Brown’s Administration has placed sanctions on all non-ADOCH-volunteer Brown students with regard to the infamous Ice Cream Social. This year, all pre-frosh have been given special high-tech lanyards that will scan them into all ADOCH events. What’s next, the BroPo officers as robots with authorization to kill?

To avoid a dangerous campus-wide revolt, here are some options for getting your hands on ice cream of the elite:

-Seduce the volunteer nearest to you. Before he/she gets his/her clothes back on, steal the red shirt.

-Tape yourself to the back of an innocent pre-frosh.

-Dress up as a professor with intentions to ‘mingle.’

-Drop out of Brown, re-apply, get accepted, and attend the Ice Cream Social as a legitimate pre-frosh.

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