50 thoughts all freshmen have in their first month at Brown

Believe it or not first-years (though it may still feel like a weird, prolonged summer camp to some), we’ve made it through a whole month here at Brown. Congratulations! In honor of that milestone, here are 50 thoughts you’ve probably had sometime in this past month:

1. Bye parents!
2. Wait, no, I miss you. Don’t leave me.

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3. Ooh, I recognize that kid from the Class of 2018 Facebook group. This is weird.
4. What is with all these acronyms?
5. You are so cool. Be my friend please.
6. How does one even make friends?
7. You told me your name, but I forgot it immediately.
8. Why is it nicknamed “The Ratty,” and should I be concerned?
9. My butt is going to get so effing toned from all these stairs.
10. The water pressure is severely underwhelming.
11. Why is everyone so beautiful?

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Thoughts: Brown Lockdown

Classy.

Hold onto your lanyards – Brown seems to be stepping up its internal security with a few new measures. First, J. Walter Wilson now requires swipe cards on weekends; no longer can we shimmy over to J Dubs in our pajamas to innocently and obsessively check our mail in the mornings. Similarly, I’m sure you’ve seen the new space-age apparatus set up in the Rock. The glass pane emblazoned with the Brown logo keeps the public out – in style. I feel like we have to stop and ask ourselves: what is the point of all these checkpoints? The way I see it, doors exist for two reasons, to keep people out, and to keep people in… Continue Reading