Your favorite camp song, “Baby Shark,” sung in German by a crazy lady. You’re welcome.

You need to study, but you still want to experience the vicarious pleasure of a killer Drinco Cinco de Mayo. You planned to bring out that sombrero in your closet, only to be derailed by a 12-page paper.

Good news: The blog Thought Catalog has released a choose-your-own-adventure for this fifth of May. Now you can relive those shoddy literary experiences provided by your elementary school library and embark on your very own fictional Cinco de Mayo adventure.

How will your story go? Will it end with a tequila hangover, a truel with treasure on the line, or a culturally insensitive dinner at Taco Bell? Find out for yourself.

Stressed out about writing your POLS1130 (The American Presidency) paper? Barely remember high school APUSH? Supporting the claim that there is a Tumblr for almost anything, Presidential Pickup Lines has got you covered…and will make you LOL.

Innuendos about Watergate, Roosevelt’s big stick, and trickle-down economics abound. Finally: Now you can feel (somewhat) educated while you giggle at penis jokes. Who could’ve known that the combination of old white men and sexy times would work so well?

Okay, so this study break might not provide a real respite for IR/Poli Sci/Econ concentrators, but for the rest of us it’ll do just fine. It slipped by without much hubbub, but the 2012 White House Correspondents’ Dinner last Saturday was a slick affair. Sure, host Jimmy Kimmel can never live up to the standard set by Colbert’s scorching roast of Dubya back in 2006, but it doesn’t matter. Obama held his own for a solid 17 minutes, getting in some real zingers. And you know what? I actually believe that the guy knows who Young Jeezy is. Get on his level, Mittens W. Romneyton III.

Now that reading period is upon us, we Brunonians have officially gone into survival mode as we cram, spend our nights in the SciLi basment and consume more caffeine than we thought was humanly possible.

But just how stressed are we? This high-entropy diagnostic (or, in order words, anxiety) test might have the answer. Unlike other personality tests, this anxiety test tries to pinpoint your areas of “moral capriciousness” by asking you to picture yourself in various hypothetical situations. It then asks you to select one of four answer choices that best represents how that situation makes you feel. The weird part is that the answer choices are just boxes of flashing colors and moving shapes, and you are merely instructed to select the box that is “morally correct.”

I took the test myself, and I have to say I was surprised at how accurate my results were. Whether you believe in online tests or not, this is definitely a good way to break from studying (unless you’re epileptic… in which case the flashing lights and bright colors may not be the best for you. Seriously).

Hey, girl.

Full disclosure: I’m not a fan of Bonny Bear. I gave their music a try after they won a Grammy and promptly fell asleep. I am, however, a fan of poking fun at hamster sensibilities, and this site does just that. It’s like Ryan Gosling for the steps-of-the-Rock crowd — so sit back, take a long sip of tea from your Mason jar and enjoy.

Image via.

But where do you come from, pensive dog?! (J-play, this one's credited.)

In honor of reading period’s kickoff, we are making the transition from time-wasters to study breaks. Same deal, just more of them (and a different name). Good luck studying (and breaking)!

Reading period is not a happy time. You’re still attempting to relive Spring Weekend by immersing yourself in Community, the beautiful warmth of Spring Week seems to have gone for good — hell, you still can’t get over the fact Spring Week ended. The last thing you want to do is study for finals. Luckily, BuzzFeed has racked up production on their cute animal lists, just in time for reading period. (Was this planned? Is it a coincidence? Ask these existential animals.) In dark times like these, you don’t question where these pictures of animals, who are clearly concerned about your well being, came from. Despite BuzzFeed’s good intentions for improving your day, one journalist from The Atlantic raised an eyebrow to BuzzFeed’s uncredited pictures. He went straight to the head honcho of BuzzFeed, Jonah Peretti, to find out where BuzzFeed gets its cute but uncredited pictures from. The full interview can be found here. But (spoiler alert!) the answer should not come as a shock: They get a lot of their uncredited content from Tumblr, Pinterest, and 4chan, where copyright infringement doesn’t exist (or rather, users are protected by the Digital Millennium Copyright Act), and is just a figment of that rude Anon‘s imagination. But it’s okay, this chihuahua promises to “make everything better.”

Image via. 

You’re pretty sure that the one rager you threw in high school will go down in the books as the most epic party ever, right? Wrong.

Bets are on that 16-year-old Corey Worthington has you beat: 500 kids showed up at this Australian teen’s house while his parents were out of town. Worthington was fined $20,000 by police, but he doesn’t even seem to be bothered — he’s enjoying the praise from fellow ragers for as long as he can ignore his parents’ phone calls and stall his impending punishment. When this didactic news anchor asks him to give advice to kids who are thinking of throwing a party of their own, Corey responds, “Get me to do it for you. Best party ever so far.” Boom. #sorryhesnotsorry.

Courtesy of the front page of reddit, like most of the world's news

Although some poor souls still have midterms during the next two weeks, most of us are about to plunge headlong into the madness that is finals. Whether you’ve already sunk neck-deep into the sludge of final projects or are simply pondering the terrifying fall mid-air, the Internet always comes to the rescue. Never doubt its power, especially when this power comes in the form of a quick-and-dirty essay writer. Essaytyper.com makes it that much easier to compose that nasty treatise on “The Socioeconomic Deviations of Post-Racial Bolivia.” Go on, type it in…might be easier than you thought…