It’s still fall, Starbucks

Just one day after Halloween, Starbucks traded in its push on pumpkin-flavored everything for an aggressive campaign chock-full of Christmas cheer. The Thayer Street Starbucks unveiled its red Christmas cups on November 1 and began to feature its winter-inspired beverages, such as the Eggnog Latte, the Peppermint Mocha, and the Gingerbread Latte on its chalkboard behind the bar.

The move by the coffee giant has elicited mixed reactions among Brown students. We went out into the field (read: did our homework at the long, communal table probably inspired by those at Le Pain Quotidien) and observed students as they reacted to the snowflake-slathered cups. Some were elated, exclaiming, “OMG, Christmas!” and even “Ugh, I’ve missed these,” while others were very confused. We understand the excitement surrounding this “push on Christmas,” as one of the baristas explained it, but last time we checked, it’s still fall.

Let’s give Starbucks some credit: last year it aggressively brought the red cups back on October 25, a little less than a week before Halloween. The colored leaves were still on the trees, and the apocalyptic, poorly-timed snowstorm had yet to blanket PVD. ‘Bucks gets points for holding off until after Halloween this year, but November 1 is still too soon—Thanksgiving is still weeks away! We’ve complained about this before—as we do about a lot of things—but our complaints are well-founded: it seems as if fall has been written off completely (we’re mostly upset because some of us haven’t even gone apple picking yet). In the meantime, if you’re in winter denial and think this move is ho-ho-horrible, you probably should just to stick to getting an iced coffee.

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The “Too Soon” Costume Equation

Nope. It’s Halloween: Everything is fall-flavored, the booze is mixed with candy, and we make obligatory Mean Girls references about the sensibilities of our costumes. You’re about to head out for the night when you think to yourself, “Wait, should I really be wearing this?”

No, it’s not your skimpy, slutty nurse outfit (that’s mine, thank you very much): It’s your questionably PC costume. Political scandal, natural disasters, celebrities after a glorious and messy downward spiral of heroin—these and slutty outfits make up the (pumpkin) bread and butter of Halloween.

But what’s too far? If you’re like me and really bad at making good choices always when drunk, we here at BlogDH have got you covered. In a completely scientific and rigorous process, we’ve come up with a nifty formula to determine whether your Dalai-Lama-saying-“Fuck-It” is indeed too soon (don’t worry: it’s not).

Behold, the “Too Soon” Acceptability Equation:

No, reading this does not count as math homework.

Where insensitivity, cleverness, and fame are measured on a scale from 1-10, and horribleness being measured from 1-100.

Let’s give this formula a good old try. Here are some examples of calculations to help you determine where your costume falls on the social acceptability scale:

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It’s not the holiday season just yet, Thayer Street

This year, it seems that the Holiday Season has sprung upon us sooner than ever. The snowflake decals in the windows of ABP went up on November 1. Those red holiday Starbucks cups were brought out on October 25th, just days before we all dressed up like kittens and Muammar Gaddafi and reveled in all that Halloween had to offer. There is nothing BlogDH hates more than being untimely. Forget Steve Jobs—we all know who should have been invited to the Too Soon Party.

Apparently, we’re not the only ones who feel that the holiday joy has been rammed down our throats. According to an article in Direct Marketing News, economic uncertainty has prompted retailers to start holiday marketing campaigns much earlier to “draw in recession-weary customers.”  Toys “R” Us sent out its holiday catalog in September. To put things in perspective, we were still shopping for classes when kids were telling mommy they wanted pimped-out ATV cruisers on their Hannukah lists. L’ChaimContinue Reading