Halloween in a simpler time.
Nothing stresses me out more than Halloween costumes. Not midterms, not straight men, not the impending Frankenstorm. Nothing.
I have to be both sexy and creative at the same time? Listen, I know I go to Brown, but I’m not that smart or savvy. I JUST WANT TO DRESS UP LIKE A COW LIKE I DID IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, OKAY!?! Or maybe a sexy Eskimo. It’s gonna be cold.
Now, even though most Brown students may pretend to adore Halloweekend, no matter how much you squeal about fishnets and hair pieces and clever women-in-binder costumes, I know you’re drowning in costume-induced anxiety. How do I know? Much like a school of fish or the majestic African impala, you find safety in numbers by rounding up your friends and going in a group costume. But I’m here to tell you: this is a mistake.
College is all about juxtaposing the old with the new, combining the rights of adulthood with childhood nostalgia. Those songs you loved in middle school are even more fun to sing while drunk! What better way to procrastinate writing your thesis than by watching old cartoons and playing Pokémon on your Gameboy? Sometimes, you just have to feel like a kid again, and you can do that on Halloween in the midst of all the more “mature” antics.
Yes, there are some of us who still like to go trick-or-treating. We’ve all heard about how weird it is that Halloween is on a Monday, but honestly, that’s the perfect excuse. You can still celebrate Halloween on the actual day without impeding your ability to write that paper due Tuesday at noon, and you get free candy out of it! Here are some tips to get the most out of being the oldest trick-or-treater on the block: