(Facebook) relationships are hard, and breakups are harder

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Facebook is testing a new feature, which supposedly allows you to “manage your interactions with your ex.” What does that mean? Among other things, you can control how often you see your old flame in your newsfeed, message bars and suggested tags, all without them knowing. 

An electronic way to get over your ex on FB may sound stupid and childish, but admit it: things were way easier before you were basically prompted to follow their every move. If you have been constantly searching for and interacting with, say Christina Paxson, and then things go sour when you find out she’s married, Facebook won’t know that. Internet suggestions function on algorithms, so for all the website thinks, CPax and you are still tight. It will keep on asking you to tag her in stuff even though it is breaking your heart! Eventually, the algorithms would take into account your lack of interaction with her, and she would stop flooding your interface.

Now, instead of waiting for time to heal all stalking habits, FB and you can finally have the dialogue where you say, “Mark Zuckerberg, you just don’t get it, I can’t look at them right now.”

Sounds pretty great, right? Unfortunately, there’s a catch. This development is only at its testing stage for US mobile users, so the relationship had to have been FB official before the feature can be applied. Oh gosh, who has heard of someone’s relationship being sanctified by the grace of Facebook post the tenth grade?

For the sake of journalism (a BlogDH way of saying “an excuse for all of our dumb antics”), we knew what we had to do. Two random bloggers would have to throw it back to their early teens, enter a fake relationship on Facebook, publicly break up, and then explore this feature in first person, on their phones.

 

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Concert Knowledge: 5 things I learned at MGMT

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Last week, I went to the MGMT concert at Lupo’s. The delay in relaying my concert knowledge is of course due to my several nights of deep contemplation about the concert. It really has nothing to do with the fact that we’re in reading period/finals week. At all. But seriously, these lessons are going to be deep, so pay attention.

MGMT is a band worth contemplating—I am willing to go on the record stating that if I were going to Penny Lane any living, actually-of-our-era band, it would be them. I am shamelessly in love with Andrew VanWynGarden. I think everyone our age should have spent a little time watching interviews with him. I remember going to my first MGMT concert when I was 16 and thinking it was totally plausible that Andrew might pull me up on stage and kiss me. At 19, I recognize the delusion of that thought—of course he wouldn’t have made out with a 16-year-old. Going into Wednesday night, I felt like it was much more likely this time around!

Obviously, my first lesson is that:

1) Third time is (will be) the charm. Meaning next time, Andrew and I will end up together. It was a bit ambitious to assume such a momentous occasion in my life would happen at Lupo’s. Lupo’s is sort of tacky. Continue Reading