Frosh-cessities: The dos and don’ts of unitcest

Thanks, Urban Dictionary.

Thanks, Urban Dictionary.

It’s October in Providence, and freshmen all across campus are starting to realize one thing: the honeymoon phase is over. There’s so much going on with clubs, classes, and media frenzies that there’s barely enough time to nap focus on the important stuff (homework?). But don’t let trivial things like midterms and government shutdowns distract you from what’s really important: whatever the f#@$ is going down on your floor! Just a few weeks ago everyone was innocently bonding over Unit Wars and shopping period angst, but now it’s a different story. Unitcest, folks. It is very real, very dangerous, and will bring even the tightest of floors down. So what do you do if you just want to keep the peace and sing kumbaya with your neighbors? Enter the dos and don’ts of dealing with unitcest:

DO:

  • Save the drama for your mama. Getting all the juicy details and giving your opinion may seem like a good idea at 4 a.m. on a Sunday at first, but giving your two cents is going to cost a lot more in the long run.
  • Be especially nice to your roommate if you’re one of the guilty ones (yeah, you). He/she is going to be the main one dealing with your crap, so next time you’re at the Blue Room, get him/her a muffin.
  • Be courteous and kind to both parties. If things go wrong, remember: this isn’t a divorce lawsuit. Continue Reading