The Lazyman’s Guide: Avoiding chores this Thanksgiving

For a lot of first years, this week will be the your first time home since the summer. And while you may have gotten used to having your only mug, which you drank tea from once at the beginning of the semester, unwashed, gross and chilling on your desk, your parents are not. You won’t only have to clean up after yourself (what does a bed look like when it’s been made, anyway?), but you can probably count on being asked to “help out around the house.” For the laziest of us, to whom the simplest chores may seem as difficult as running a marathon, here’s a guide to (dealing with) getting out of them.

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  1. Play the Friends Card

Always, always, always have plans. When your dad asks you if you can rake the yard, say “Oh, but Sheila and I were going to catch up over coffee and my guess is it’s going to be a looooooong chat.” Emphasize how much you’ve missed your hometown friends, and how, because the break is so short, you want to pack as much time in as you can with as many people as possible. Don’t forget to throw in some long bit about how sad it is that the times when you are home will become rarer and rarer.

  1. Or Play the Sibling Card. It’s Even Better 

Parents are suckers for seeing their kids spend quality time together. If you have brothers or sisters, pay attention to them. Watch movies, give them lots of hugs, take your younger sister to lunch, etc. Pull at your parents’ heartstrings until they are afraid to ask you for help because it would disrupt your wonderful newfound fondness for your brother. And actually, sibling time can be really fantastic anyway– don’t take it for granted.

  1. Be one with the P-Set

So a lot of us may actually have a significant amount of work this Thanksgiving. Every time you are home and sense your mom might be about to allot you a chore, make sure you are working intensely on your APMA problem set. Take on the homework and take out the home work.

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Blogify: (250+) Days of Summer

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While most of us are excited to get back to Brown, many of us are wary of getting back to “University.” Fear no more: this summer playlist will extend your vacation till the first leaf (or snowflake) falls. Whether you’re writing an essay, putting the finishing touches on your dorm decor, or dreading the first hint of cold weather, we’ve got you covered from Azealia to Zedd. Now put on some sunscreen and finish up that paper.


Clubs we NEED at Brown

Yeah, everyone gets it, we are hipster chic, trendy, and douchey, so our clubs should embody whats makes Brown Brown. There is the Anime Society, the Aerial Arts Society, the Swan Ballet Club, the Bulgarian Club, the Brown Noser, BlogDailyHerald (Pulitzer Prize-winning I may add…pending further review), the Brown Daily Herald, and so many others. Luckily, just like my fat cousin always says, “there is always room for more.”

Because my GPA already sucks, I have spent the last 36 minutes of my FYS drafting the ultimate list of clubs that I don’t want but that I NEED on campus A$AP. And. Here. We. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

The Model UN Hecklers

This is just like Model UN, but instead of participating in a UN-inspired, student run forum, in this club we heckle and and prank those involved in Model UN. This is not an attack on Model UN; they’re great. Rather, this is me airing out some personal issues from high school due to a particularly competitive and arrogant Model UN squad that loved to talk about Model UN, the dances and how many guys/girls with braces they made out with. In high school there was nothing I wanted to do more than to let off a stink bomb, kidnap a Ecuadorian delegate, turn on the lights at one of the dances, or just streak through one of their “worldly and important” meetings. So why not do it now?!?! This club would heckle and mess with the Brown Model UN group as well any high school Model UN’ers who come to campus.

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