New England is cold. That’s an irrefutable fact. And yes, it’s gotten much colder in the course of just a few weeks. None of us are happy about it—we all miss the days when the walk from one side of campus to the other didn’t bring tears to our eyes because of freezing gusts of wind slapping us in the face. I too dislike wearing fourteen layers and not being able to feel my hands and feet.
But what is undoubtedly worse than the thermometer slipping below 32 degrees is the slew of subsequent
annoying complaints comments about how cold it is.
These insidious remarks have become an inescapable campus-wide epidemic, but without a shot to immunize you. I hear them while walking anywhere, from friends or while eavesdropping (sorry, not sorry). I have cataloged a list of some of my favorite types of cold weather comments, in the hope that the next time you think about saying one, you think again. Or just know that some people might want to make like that wind gust and slap you across the face. Continue Reading
Go outside. Like, right now. Spring might have decided to show up fashionably late this year, and we might still be a bit bitter from the overcast Spring Weekend. But the sun is out, the grass is soft, and it’s socially acceptable to take off clothing during the day.
On a day that’s as nice as today is, here’s what you should be doing:
1. Iced, iced coffee
If you’re not drinking liters of iced coffee, you’re doing it wrong. Because, seriously, who’s going to need Flex Points in two weeks from now? Alternatively, find out when fresh baked cookies come out of the Blue Room oven and attack like a cloud of descending locust.
2. Throw a frisbee.
Or, if you’re like me, get hit by a Frisbee.
3. Get a farmer’s tan…
… and then lose it. Let’s lose those shirts and show some skin. Who cares if you’re shivering because it’s just a few degrees too cold for your outfit? Refuse to put on a sweatshirt because you look too damn good.
Well…wow. Most of the school has already seen the picture above. After looking at this screenshot, I was inclined to think that sure, there are some disappointed people here with this temperature. You know something? If you had told us six days ago it would have been 55 degrees outside, we would have given anything for the opportunity to enjoy it. And you know something? Not only is it warmer today in Providence than it is in San Diego, according to the Weather Channel’s Accuweather 5-Day forecast, but tomorrow is going to be hotter than parts of Colorado and Oklahoma, and almost as hot as Arizona and New Mexico.
This list continues: if you can even believe it, it’s going to be hotter in Providence than it will be in Rome and Sevilla; and it’s going to be warmer than South Dakota, Oregon, Washington, and Michigan.
After tomorrow, we’re going march up to Old Man Winter to take back our spring. Byaaaaah!
Yesterday’s pre-downpour heat got us (maybe a bit prematurely) in the mood for the season. We’ll milk it for all it’s worth.
Dear Rhode Island weather,
please get your shit together.
You’re ruining my ‘do,
and messing with my attitude.
Don’t taunt us with the promise of Spring,
when we really don’t know what tomorrow may bring.
Oh, wait—I know…
Rain, and snow, and terrors untold.
No, I’m not exaggerating.
You truly are exasperating.
So for fuck’s sake,
give us a break.
That crafty, cunning bitch. Gray-eyed Athena in all her metis has crafted a winter storm and will proceed into battle with the Northeast tonight just a little over week after we had to deal with the rowdy Sandy (Cohen).
Conditions will include rain mixed with snow, wind gusts over 50 mph, and temperatures in the low 30s, all products of the goddess’ detailed, calculated work.
There’s no way to hold this storm back: while Sandy (Cohen) may have been easily distracted by the presence of bagels, the helmet-wearing, spear-bearing Athena means business. Don’t even try to seduce her… the virginal goddess won’t budge. Hephaestus tried it before, and trust us, it didn’t work. Everyone on Olympus made fun of him, and they’ll make fun of you too.