It’s an almost universally agreed upon fact that Facebook changes suck. We like our social networks reliable and unmodified, gosh darnit! So when the cover photo was introduced, we were naturally all a bit hesitant.  Two profile pictures? We initially thought to ourselves. What is this hootenanny?

But Facebook users are narcissistic embraced the cover photo and utilized it as a form of expression, posting awkwardly-sized, rectangular images of everything from their favorite place to their favorite artist.  After some thorough Facebook stalking research, we deduced what each type of cover photo says about you:

The Beyonce: We feel your pain. Other Beyonce fans are tough to find; you’ve got to broadcast your obsession in the off chance you’ll get a couple of likes from some fellow Bey enthusiasts hiding out there somewhere. But seriously, this ubiquitous choice isn’t all that bad. You’ve got good taste in music… and humans. Sadly, you don’t win any creativity points.

The nature scene: “This website is pretty nice I guess,” Zuckerberg worried to himself the night he conceived the cover photo, “but it needs more sweet pics of people standing in front of mountains.” The nature cover photo became an instant staple. Today, you can’t stalk for long without coming across a picture of dirty people standing in front of a lake. For the most part, these send the right kinds of messages. You’ve got an adventurous side, you’ve seen some incredible sights and you know how to take a decent picture. Unless you pulled it off of Google. That’s not okay. [Read more →]

Red Bull has officially declared that the Harlem Shake is dead. We know, we know, this cultural sensation was sooo two weeks ago, but why not throw a send-off party for this phenomenon before it’s officially put to rest? Let’s take this time to highlight some of the Harlem Shake’s more memorable moments on Brown’s campus. When the day comes and your kids say to you, “Mom, Dad, what’s the Harlem Shake?” you can turn to Blog, open up this post, and say, “Kids, this was the Harlem Shake.” Let the videos speak for themselves.

Once the movement began infecting our seven continent planet, it, of course, made its way to Brown, inspiring some of our very own to create and post videos to YouTube. Here are a few videos that’ll give you a taste of what went on around the Brown campus in the last few weeks (after the jump).

The Jabberwocks of Brown University edition:

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As members of the Brown community, we should really have a handle on some of the conventional social norms so we can respect our fellow students. However, it seems that there are some norms that Brown students simply overlook, or just really don’t care about how their behavior will affect (read: annoy) their peers. LISTSERV, my friends, falls in this latter category. To put it simply, this website really was not created for humans. Sure, you could go through your four years receiving e-mails from that club that you signed up to join but never attended the first meeting the first week of your freshman year…or you could not. When I told a friend that my inability to navigate LISTSERV was bothering me, she said, “what’s LISTSERV?” At that point, I knew something had to be done. Here are a few things that you should know about LISTSERV in order to save yourself from future annoyance, and more importantly, embarrassment. We did some serious investigative journalism to help you out over here. [Read more →]

Just when you thought Penn couldn’t get any more obnoxious, its pompous and “generous” alumni are dropping big money to “widen the gap between the cool, friendly kids of Penn and the anti-social shut-ins at other Ivies.” The Social Ivy strives to facilitate social interactions between Penn students by covering part of the cost of their social gatherings, mainly dinners during which non-alcoholic drinks are served. Upon learning of this initiative, Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, Princeton, and Yale collectively projectile vomited on the city of Philadelphia in disgust. Benjamin Franklin must be turning in his grave.

To sign up for a table at a restaurant, the site must deem you “worthy”—upon picking a table, you must answer a question correctly to qualify. Why do these students need to prove that they’re worthy? According to the website’s FAQ section, “Alumni want to unite the best and only the best. The Social Ivy ensures that the students who get together to share ideas and have a good time are not only cool and interesting, but also smart and informed.” These “Very Important People” in the Penn community must have the “swagger” and the “confidence” to invite their friends to these events and network; in doing so, they “prove they’re suave” (emphasis mine… and if The Social Ivy’s creative team believes that suaveness takes human form in any of the individuals pictured above, it is seriously mistaken).

It’s bad enough to call the highly intelligent, driven, and hard-working students at the other seven Ivy League institutions anti-social hermits. But here’s the bigger problem: [Read more →]

So apparently, despite the death threats and a pronounced lack of talent, Patrice Wilson–better known as the producer/musical genius behind Rebecca Black’s “Friday”–is still in the game, with his new production “It’s Thanksgiving” now rocketing around the interweb. In it, Nicole Westbrook–Rebecca aspirations in hand–whines her way through 3:43 of particularly uninspired Thanksgiving-themed lyrics, punctuated by a typically humiliating mandatory guest appearance by Wilson. Now, let’s be clear here–at this point, these people are aiming for an “any publicity is good publicity” policy and are intentionally gunning for the negative feedback they’re getting, something we shouldn’t stoop to provide. But damn, they’re so good at being bad! Here’s a couch companion to the near-four minutes of terribleness.

0:15: OK, first of all, Thanksgiving hasn’t fallen on the 28th since 2002. Maybe it’s a 2013 calendar? As in, please let me forget about 2012 and this terrible video I made as soon as possible? Also, she’s for some reason already crossing out Thanksgiving Day. I feel like that should be something you do when the day ends. It’s like, wake up, ALRIGHT FUCK THANKSGIVING LET’S CROSS THAT SHIT OUT. Mixed messaging for sure.

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You didn’t really think we weren’t going to hop on this bandwagon, did you? As an Internet publication, we appreciate memes and hashtags just as much as the next troll. So now that Facebook seems to be blowing up with #whatshouldwecallme, we felt morally obligated to create some Brown scenarios, interpreted through gifs:

WHEN IT’S SUNNY OUT AND A FRIEND TELLS ME TO COME TO THE MAIN GREEN
And I’m like,

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Last year, the wave of democratic revolutionary uprisings in the Middle East known as the Arab Spring warranted worldwide attention. This spring, it’s a Canadian pop song that’s taking the world by storm. Basically the same thing, right?

The last time you and your friends danced around your kitchen to a pop song and recorded it on iMovie, you were either 1) in 7th grade, or 2) older, but too embarrassed to admit it. Leave it to Selena Gomez and J. Biebs to make the seemingly bizarre socially acceptable.

The power couple and some of their less famous friends (e.g., Ashley Tisdale, Carlos Pena of Big Time Rush) were all hanging out in their sweatpants, hoodies, and mustache glasses when they decided to record a video breaking it down to Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” and post it to YouTube. Since this video was posted in February, it has gotten close to 20 million views (Jepsen’s original music video has only 1.6 million views!), while “Call Me Maybe” currently holds the ninth spot on iTunes’ “Top Songs” list under “Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele. That’s some high praise. Implications and impacts of the “Call Me Maybe” Revolution after the jump.

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Too lazy for confession? Don’t have time to waddle through the melting snow to pour your heart to a priest through an iron gate? Just too ashamed to do even that? Well, Steve Jobs is here to make your life just a bit easier.

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