Drunk/Drunk/Sober/High/Crossfaded: Frosh Ball

DrunkDrunkSoberHighCrossed

The BlogBabies were itching to get in on the Drunk/Sober/High action, and what’s more freshman than a Frosh Ball? Given that freshmen only roam in packs, we found it appropriate to expand the usual three person group by adding two new members, Crossfaded and another Drunk! We present the first ever Drunk/Drunk/Sober/High/Crossfaded.

Since no one ever shows up on time, we all agreed to meet at 10:00 p.m. to do our respective imbibing and/or smoking (or neither, poor Sober). 

10:03 p.m. Cross has already taken 3 shots by the time the rest of the BlogBabies arrive. She has been feeling nauseous and hungover all day, so she did not eat dinner. Not her best decision.

10:05 p.m. High shows up already pretty high because he “comes prepared.” For additional preparation, as he tells us later, he watched “a shit load of Ru Paul’s Drag Race before [he] came.”

In a rare turn of events for D/S/H, Sober is the last to arrive… prepared with her journalistic integrity and iPhone for notes.

Very quickly, Cross and High decide they need to be high/higher, respectively, and so commences the search for an appropriate place to smoke. In response to the suggestion of the trash room, High notes that “It is where I belong.”

10:14 p.m. We’ve found a room willing to host us.

10:16 p.m. Cross is fairly drunk now that she’s about 6 shots in. She’s pleased with herself for being functional enough to prep her bong.

C: Aren’t you always amazed when you see drunk people roll just the nicest jays ever? Muscle memory, man!

H: It looks like an Erlenmeyer flask. Would you like to meet my bowl, Venus? Looks like the atmosphere of Venus.

Drunk 1: Wait, how do you know that?

H:  I don’t know, I haven’t been there.

Venus_surface_art

Apparently this is Venus’    atmosphere. High’s bowl looked nothing like this.

10:32 p.m. Sober realizes that everyone is saying “Bojangles” for some unbeknownst reason and is once again realizing she is way too sober to deal with everyone.

Cross is staring at them while they go over the pronunciation of this weird word. She says nothing because she has NO idea what bojangles is. Is it the name of a famous clown like Bozo? A chain food place? A TV character? Continue Reading


Highdeas we got from watching 300: Rise of an Empire

300_Rise of an Empire

If you haven’t seen 300: Rise of an Empire, don’t. If you haven’t seen 300: Rise of an Empire in 3D after eating brownies, do. We did it. It was awesome. Here are some “highdeas” we had during this obscene spectacle. They are all direct quotes from ideas we wrote on my phone. Enjoy.

1. You can use your Brown ID for discounted movie tickets at Providence Place Mall.

2. What if we put a store in the mall right below the movie theater that sold considerably cheaper candy than the movie theater does? #freeenterprise

3. They use very strong verbs in most action movies.

4. They also furrow their brows a lot.

5. Even though there is a female lead, this movie is très misogynistic.

6. This takes place in like 300 BCE, why do they have British accents? What century does this take place in?

7. What did they do before glasses were invented? Was everyone just kind of blind or did they have really good vision because they weren’t staring at computer screens all the time?

8. Is this movie an allegory to the War on Terror???????????????????????? (Spoiler alert: the answer is definitely no.)

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Rhode Island and Mary Jane, a love story

The State of Rhode Island and Pretty Dank Plantations // GQ.com

The state that began as Roger Williams’ noble settlement based on “freedom of conscience” for all people was recently named  the 16th Worst State in America in GQ. How did the most progressive of the 13 colonies become so deplorable? The same way Amy Winehouse derailed her career: drugs. The state is #1 in the nation for consumption of illicit drugs, and the most consumed drug is, to borrow a phrase from Cypress Hill, “that skunky, funky, smelly green shit.” According to a 2003 report by the National Drug Intelligence Center (NDIC), nearly 50% of teenagers in Rhode Island had used marijuana at least once and 7.2% of the whole adult population (over 12 years old) had used the drug in the past 30 days–almost 3% above the national average. Furthermore, all of these statistics were collected before the state’s legalizing of medical marijuana in 2006, which legalized possession for “caregivers and patients” without violating state laws. Though specific studies have not been conducted recently, one can only imagine the new law sparking an increase in marijuana use. More info about RI’s love affair with marijuana after the jump. Continue Reading