The Ethics of the Golf Umbrella

You’ve all seen them around. Big enough to house an entire family, the two-toned Brown Golf Umbrella (BGU) can be a student’s godsend in a rainstorm. It can also put a BGU’s owner in a serious moral dilemma.

Let me put this disclaimer out right now: I am a proud BGU owner. It has served me well and most definitely outlived the entirely arbitrary 2-storm shelf life of your standard umbrella. It keeps both me and my none-too-waterproof backpack (do they make those?) completely dry. But, of course, one must remember: with great umbrella comes great responsibility. As a BGU owner, you have the opportunity to do a lot of good for some very wet strangers. Or you could just wreak a lot of havoc. Here are a few guidelines.

1. Umbrella envy is going to happen. You’re just going to have to accept the dirty looks. We all know that monster can fit at least 3, if not 6 Brunonians (maybe fewer post-Candyland). But hey, not everyone gets to be totally dry after a walk from Pembroke to the Ratty. That would be umbrella socialism! This gives “trickle-down” a whole new meaning. Continue Reading