WHY THE F@CK IS IT COLD AND SUNNY

I understand that the title may have betrayed a few aspects of my identity— yes, I’m from Florida; yes, I was born in California; yes, I’m obnoxious. But I resent that Providence’s temperature has been turned into a disgusting display of identity politics. I’m tired of my Northern brethren sneering at my plight— only after I tell them from where I hail. Northern or southern, rural Montana mountaineer or Bay area bro— are we not all human? Do we not all bleed red when cut? Do we not all have functioning nervous systems capable of recognizing how cruel the Providence wind can be?

Look, don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not one of those southerners, I did my research. I didn’t show up to Brown with a single pair of sandals in hand and a few pastel colored shorts, naively expecting the Northeast to cater to me. No, I perused Winter Coat Weekly for months before deciding on my perfect synthetic feather-filled friend. I weathered the jeers of my friends as I asked them innocent questions like “Why can’t I just wear my jean jacket?” I did my due diligence, all in the efforts to keep myself toasty in the icy winter months.

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Sextion: Different exes you see over break

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Hi everyone!

New year, new photo! “Cool for the Semester” definitely had to go now that the semester is over and it’s cold(ish) outside.

I am so psyched to be back. Break was long. If we are going to be honest, it got really boring. And what do people do when they’re bored and single and college-aged? Hit up their exes. These run-ins can be excruciatingly uncomfortable, super fun, or even just plain forgettable. Most ex stories I’ve heard from this break fall into the following categories that I’ve recorded for your procrastinating pleasure.

The Super Nostalgic One: Often found at those not-so-fun parties back home that you feel obligated to attend so as not to seem like a Netflix-hermit, the Super Nostalgic Ex just wants to reminisce. You two haven’t hooked up since the 10th grade and haven’t spoken since the 11th, but the Super Nostalgic (and Pretty Damn Drunk) Ex is determined to tell you that “you’re the one who got away.” They insist, in fact. It’s flattering, but you’re just sitting there trying to remember if you even really “dated” this like they say you did.

foolThis is how the Super Nostalgic Ex feels the next day when they wake up, sober, and remembers what they said to you.

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Sextion: Are you going to get it this break?

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Let’s all face facts: Winter break is long. Ridiculously long. You’re going to find yourself getting very bored and probably even very horny. With all that free time, winter break is a great time to get down with that ex you still talk to, that one person in high school you always had a thing for, or someone you never noticed before but who really glo’d up since the last time you saw them.

But how likely are you to get with your back-home bae (whoever that may be) this break?

Note: One of the bloggers took this quiz, got a 100%, and has already hooked up with the guy she had in mind while taking it. Does that mean that this quiz is science? Yes.

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What do your results mean?

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FlogDailyHerald: Cup news

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For those of you who don’t know, there is a major controversy right now among the coffee-drinking community over Starbucks’ iconic red holiday cups, which, for those of you following along at home, are the objects which contain the coffee. Cups. Nothing could matter less. And yet Starbucks is in the midst of a publicity shit-show because some of the more hyper-religious of its customers are disappointed by the lack of religious iconography on its holiday cups. Unfortunately, parties on all sides are missing the point.

The point is that the holidays are a month and a half away. It’s not even December. We can’t jump on the Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza/New Years/Winter Solstice bandwagon until we celebrate Thanksgiving. Why is Christmas music playing in the mall at all? Why have we had like a gazillion presidential debates for an election that’s a year away? What the fuck is going on? 

Au Bon Pain is doing it right. Their “holiday” cups are gray and have little stars on them. Look outside. That’s the spirit of the present moment. The weather sucks and is only going to get worse. Ho, ho, ho. Halloween just ended.

Recently trending on Facebook was the release of Dunkin’ Donuts new holiday cups, “amid the cup controversy.” Truly, no dumber words have ever been typed in the history of seasonal accouterments. And it’s not as if things are just slow for news outlets. In fact, the amount of vital stories happening right now — with extremely important AND tangible implications across the nation — is almost impossible to digest. News is what should be happening right now. Not people’s response to cups which fail to recognize events almost two months away.

I honestly don’t know what the fuck is going on anymore. I need a coffee. I guess I’ll just make it myself and put it in a bowl. Not trying to throw my hat in the ring like this guy.

Happy fall, everyone. Enjoy it while it lasts. 

Image via.


How to cross campus without freezing to death

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Oh God. It’s here. Or it might be here. It seems like just yesterday it was 90 degrees outside and we were all wearing booty shorts as we strutted the Main Green. But that time of the year is gone, and what’s to come is downright terrifying. Yet, we’re not really sure what’s going on because Providence weather is quite confusing and we’re living each day on our toes. Special shout-out to weather.com for always being there.

What we do know is that winter in Providence starts pretty early. It’s going to get colder—a lot colder—as we move into November and December, and Brown students have always struggled to find ways to stay alive in the midst of this arctic chill. We drink coffee and wrap ourselves in fabric, but, more often than not, we each lose at least one limb to frostbite. It’s tragic but true.

The hardest part of the impending winter season is handling those brief moments we spend outside when getting from class to class. It feels like the wind is pistol-whipping us each time we open the door, and stomping through snow reminds us of Elsa from Frozen beating us to death with our own arms.

But never fear! Blog is here with some great tips to make it through this garbage-y season. If even the thought of leaving your residence hall makes you want to curl into fetal position, give some of these a try. They might just save your life. Continue Reading


Frosh-cessities: How to avoid getting sick

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There are several facts of life that everyone must accept. For example, death is inevitable and college students can be–and are–gross. From the latter stems a great problem: the epidemic of flus and colds at Brown. For those of you who are specifically avoiding the post hook-up cold, Blog has you covered here. For those of you who refuse to get sick, or those who are refusing to believe you are actually sick, here are a few tips.

1. Get your flu shot.

Health Services will be offering free flu shots for students starting on October 14. They will be from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Wednesday through Friday in the lower level of Faunce.

2. Avoid Keeney at all costs.

Keeney is a swarming hub of germs. To be fair, it can’t be blamed. There are a lot of people in tight quarters and soap isn’t always stocked. So, to play it safe, avoid Keeney. Don’t worry if you live there, though! BlogDH has already listed the warmest places to hide. I strongly recommend the mysterious vents in front of Bio-Med.

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