It’s “The Greatest Show On Earth.” Yes, Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey’s Circus is coming to the Dunkin’ Donuts Center this weekend. Of all places it could possibly go on Earth, why would the circus come to Providence? We literally have no idea. But whatever the reason, you should take advantage of this most bizarre opportunity, especially since it falls during reading period.
“But BlogDH!” you say. “If I’m going to procrastinate this weekend, I might as well do it by doing something normal, like running on Blackstone. Plus, I’ve exceeded my weekly quota of clown sightings!” To which I say shame on you. Of the several things we promise ourselves we’ll do during reading period—go to Newport! go to the mall! have BRRRUNCH!—this one blows all of them out of the water. The Breakers will be here during Senior Week, but THE LEGENDARY RINGLING BROS. BARNUM & BAILEY CIRCUS WON’T.
There are elephants…giving each other massages.People riding motorcycles in weird spherical balls. People who contort in weird ways. It’s just about the weirdest thing to come to this city after the Dalai Lama’s profanity. Procrastinating by going to see flying people and a clown who looks like the guy who got a hemorrhage at the party at Billy Madison’s house after he passed the first grade is totally justifiable. Your professors will completely understand.
I mean, are you kidding? You’re actually not considering to go see this? Whatever. We’ll see you there. Bye.
Visitors to Room 201 in Sayles Hall were greeted with an unusual sight yesterday: a bat of unidentified species, possibly possessing rabies and calmly chilling like no one’s business by the top of the door. Despite several classes entering and leaving the room over the course of the day, as well as countless high-pitched screams of “ah! a bat!” from the surrounding hallway, the winged mammal remained unfazed.
What do you think? Bloodthirsty vampire freak or calm chiropteran?
On Wednesday, New Dorm residents received this email:
This isn’t your garden variety case of urine misplacement. Some individual, or group of individuals, has gone to extreme lengths here. In their quest to avoid the toilet, they’ve gone straight for the trash can and followed a more…indirect route. Also, the culprit has hit both New Dorm A and B. This isn’t some drunken prank; it’s a systematic attack.
From the beginning, M-Lo made clear the severity of the issue at hand. He raises two important points: this behavior is unhealthy, and it raises concerns about the student responsible for it. We feel your concern Marc, but let’s not forget about the intrigue. It’s not every day we have a serial pee-er on our hands. Good luck, New Dormers. Stay dry safe.
Most of evolution’s creatures are beautiful and majestic, whether it be the ferocious tiger or the graceful, galloping gazelle. Then there are the animals that evolution created after it got schwasty at the GCB and subsequently devoured a pot brownie. The tumblr WTF, Evolution? writes humorously about these animals, from a scary-looking elephant seal to a pelican that looks like a urinal. WTF, evolution?
Our school’s social activity online becomes increasingly weird and intriguing with each new outlet. First we took the step from innocent eyeing to full-on baring. When that got out of hand, we reverted to anonymously complimenting. We got tired of that, so we moved on to criticizing and eventually admiring. Now, as a new semester brings new possibilities of online entertainment, it looks like we’re about to start…scrambling? If you haven’t already, meet Brown Scramblers, the newest entry in Brown students’ eccentric online lineup.
At this point, the whole thing is still shrouded in mystery. The title alludes to the well-documented Senior Scramble phenomenon. The profile’s 515 friends (hopefully all Brown students) are currently staying tuned for the “Big Event.” Its “About Me” and cover photo make it unclear whether it’s referring to sexual exploration or eggs. It turned 21 last week.
We’ve heard a lot of the buzz and theories about Brown Scramblers over at BlogHQ, but we’re still not sure of the profile’s purpose or what this “Big Event” during spring is. Until we figure it out, we’ll enjoy playing the odds. Here are some of our best bets on Brown Scramblers’ endgame:
An event for sexually adventurous seniors to meet each other, make eggs, and make out upside down while wearing beanies- 3:1 The most sound bet based on data gathered from the Facebook page.
Breaking news: the internet is weird. The Useless Web has done a fine job in collecting the web’s most strange, pointless, and seizure-inducing content from the weirdest corners of the interwebz for your amusement and procrastination. If the creators of StumbleUpon and eBaum’s World joined forces and took LSD, it would probably look something like this.
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