A definitive ranking of the best Wi-Fi networks on College Hill

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“Show me someone who claims to not want the Wi-Fi password and I’ll show you a liar”

— me five minutes ago

As a senior living off campus and being thrust out of the comfort of the Brown Wi-Fi network, I’ve become increasingly aware of connecting to different networks around College Hill. This perpetual quest for Wi-Fi has illuminated the extent to which people in Providence take their Wi-Fi network naming seriously. In classic Brown fashion, these names really speak for themselves.

Without further ado, I present to you a list of College Hill’s best Wi-Fi network names on College Hill ranked by category:

Most location specific:

348s

Winner: YANSCUISINE

This network name is genius because of its proximity to Yan’s Cuisine and the fact that it is owned by students who have nothing to do with Yan’s Cuisine. This is an April Fools dream all-year-round. Not so secretly wishing I had thought of something like this.

Honorable mentions: Cheers to the Governor, Papa John’s, G Spot (located above G Spot Salon)

 

Most likely to make you feel like you’re being watched:

Winner: FBISurveillanceVan

Definitely no Napster, LimeWire, or MegaVideo here (#tbt).

 

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Best use of popular culture:

Winner: [Borat Voice] my wifi

Looks like we’ve all upgraded from the iPod Mini. Very nice!

Runners Up: BillNyeTheWifiGuy, Adventure timeeee, and Bruce Wayne

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Amuse-Bouche: Yan’s Cuisine

There’s always a sense of anticipation surrounding an empty storefront on College Hill. Sure, we might long for the days when an incredibly useful convenience store occupied the corner of Thayer and Euclid — take the hint, local entrepreneurs — but coupled with that desolation is hope for the future: someday, some new business is coming in there. Eventually.

Brunonians who frequent the eastern end of campus had become used to this feeling while staring at the façade that once was Iron Wok. Luckily, Yan’s Cuisine, a Chinese restaurant reminiscent of its predecessor, opened up a few weeks ago in the once-abandoned storefront on the corner of Brook and Benevolent. The newcomer offers a surprisingly diverse set of options. You can go for dishes typical of Americanized Chinese fare (General Tso’s chicken, steamed pork dumplings, egg rolls, etc.), or you can be brave and try one of an impressive selection of less popular items, like “House Special Neck Bone” and “Lion’s Head Meat Ball.” (Ed. – We’re taking submissions for artistic renderings of the latter dish).

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