So, this Family Weekend my parents treated a couple of my friends and me to a dinner on Federal Hill. Since we’re all a bunch of indecisive shmucks—or maybe we’re just given too many options—we took to Yelp to essentially choose a restaurant for us. (We also sifted through reviews for a good two hours, but that’s another story.) While “sifting,” I stumbled upon a specific review of one of the restaurants:
I’m sorry, doesn’t this seem a bit dramatic? As Professor Hazeltine would say, “Am I making any sense at all?” Yes, you think the restaurant’s bad. P
lease don’t deliver a digital monologue on your misplaced sorrows . Indeed, it seems that this Yelper’s experience involved unearthing some serious neurosis about this one restaurant — “outdoor seating, chic drinks” and “people watching” are possibilities no more, now realized as merely wistful imaginings washed out by an experience on that one dreary night after those “few fleeting hours.” What kind of ethereal nonsense were people telling the Yelper about this restaurant? Are there any other places to get these “chic drinks”? And how many hours was it, really, before it was no longer the reviewer’s “summer spot”? I’d like to know.