Shopping period professor stereotypes

Between our furious Banner browsing and taxing marathon schedules, it’s easy to forget that there’s another side to shopping period. Professors, like us, are faced with a frustrating beginning to their semesters as students flood their aisles and inboxes. We have our ways of coping with the chaos, and so do they. Any experienced shopper will have noticed that Brown’s professors gravitate towards a few different strategies to deal with the pressures of shopping period. We’ve compiled three common ones here. You’d be hard-pressed to find a student who hasn’t run into one of these characters during their Brown career.

The Intimidator:

“Are you registered? Get out of my class.”

Many college professors seem to have lost their fuzzy exteriors around year six of graduate school, but this shopping period classic kicks up the cynicism a few decibel levels during shopping period. If you’re not registered, sitting in the aisle, or missing a textbook by day two, the prof doesn’t want you there. And he’s not afraid to let you know. He revels in cutting his waitlist until only the fittest have survived. If you want to take his class, keep in mind that it’s just an act. Chances are he’ll lighten up a bit once people stop emailing him for overrides. 

The Chiller:

“Shakespeare is DOPE.”

This decidedly middle-aged professor grows more out of touch with each passing shopping period. Just don’t let her know. She looks forward to the first two weeks of the year to convince new droves of students that she’s still in tune with the times, that she knows what’s up.  This act can be convincing—the first few class meetings will likely consist of clips from the Colbert Report and listening to Daft Punk. But beware: The façade will soon crumble, the truth will reveal itself, and then you’ll be left with a professor who says “dude” too much.

The Showman:

“And that’s why you should take CS15.”

Aspiring academics don’t make it to the big show without turning a few heads. We’ve got our fair share of commanding presences on Brown’s faculty, and for two weeks, shopping period gives them a chance to showcase their classroom antics. These professors love the limelight almost as much as we enjoy the spectacle. Look no further than one of the most popular classes at Brown, where the professor spends the first day of class in full Sith Lord attire. They tend to lose their theatrical bent once shopping period comes to a close, but these professors usually turn out to be some of the best.

1 Comment

  1. Oh, snap! I thought I was the only one who used a lightsaber on the first day of class! But does he sing?

Leave a Reply