Ahh, Halloween. Cady Heron was right when she said that it’s the one night a year when girls (and boys. Don’t be so heteronormative) can be more scantily clad than usual and no one can say anything about it. And thanks to Halloween falling on a Wednesday, we get to experience two weekends chock full of bear-it-all costumes. Although the “which weekend should I go out” question might be bothering you (the answer is both, by the way), here’s the REAL question that should plague your every thought: “How am I supposed to come up with a different, hot costume EVERY night?” Have no fear, we have prepared eight simple and oh-so Brown-related costume ideas that will totally make you the hottest Brunonian around. We’ve even added a pick-up lines! Take a look after the jump.
Spicy With (or without, if you’re feeling risque): Who doesn’t love
drunk Jo’s food? A properly-designed mini dress is all you really need for this one. Just buy a gold or tan number and add some fabric in green (lettuce), brown (chicken), red (tomato), and yellow (cheese). To spice it up even more, pair this outfit with red shoes.
Pick-up line of choice: “You know you’ll be wanting me at 1 a.m.”
Sexy Gail: This one is for all of you who want to meet everyone. We all know and love Gail as the wise and motherly face of the Ratty who swipes us in and sends us on our way to fully enjoy the Ratty experience. Show how much you love her by throwing on a denim shirt, name tag, any kind of pants (or … none), and take the IDs of anyone who looks cute (you need their name for FB stalking anyway). Bonus points for an apron, white velcro shoes, and a red wig!
Pick-up line of choice: “Hiiiiiiiii” (was there any other choice?)
Swearing Dalai Lama: What’s hotter than the Dalai Lama? The Swearing Dalai Lama, of course. This outfit is all the rage after stories of the Dalai Lama possibly dropping the f-bomb made world news. To recreate the same garb that His Holiness and other Tibetan monks wear, all you need to do is wrap an orange bed sheet around your body. Clothing underneath the sheet is totally optional, of course. The final touch for this outfit is to curse like a motherf*cking sailor.
Pick-up line of choice: “7 minutes with me will lead you to enlightenment.”
Naked Donut Runner: It’s simple, really. Either strategically place some donuts on your naked body or don’t put any on your body at all. Your choice.
Pick-up line of choice: You don’t need one. “The Naked Man” has a 2 in 3 effectiveness rating.
SPG Go-er: Next weekend is Halloweekend and SPG, so you’ll definitely want to embrace this idea. Lingerie/sexy clothing of your choice is pretty much all that’s needed, though being flashy and sparkly is encouraged. S&M-themed garb has the added bonus of fitting in with 2012’s Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired bondage trend!
Pick-up line of choice: “Oh, you didn’t get tickets to SPG? Don’t worry, I’ll show you what they mean by a ‘sex-power God.'”
Straight Tree Crush of the Week: Straight Boys are so mainstream. Instead, dress up as the tree outside the Rock that has been deemed a “Knight in Shining Arbor.” A skintight brown outfit, some leaves collected from the Green, and a cute green hat are all you need to attract all the tree-huggers your heart desires.
Pick-up line of choice: “I’d love to cross-pollinate with you.”
Food Trucks: This is a great costume for a big group of friends. Each of you should pick a food truck, get cute (read: tight) t-shirts, and write the name of your truck on it, or bust out that free Mama Kim’s shirt we know you waited in line for last year. Make sure the rest of your outfit matches the color theme of your truck and consider topping it off with something that matches its cuisine. For example, Plouf Plouf might want to rock a beret, Mijos might want to don a sombrero, and Fancheezical should consider hitting up his/her Green Bay Packer fan friends for one of these.
Pick-up line of choice: It might vary from truck to truck, but if all else fails you can try this one: “The most recent Twitter update about my location says I’ll be in your bed in 10 minutes.”
SciLi: The Empire State Building is a little over-done as a costume, so why not emulate the most beautiful and majestic architectural achievement in Providence, the SciLi? A grey mini dress, grey tights, grey heels, and a grey avant-garde square-shaped hat (aka a spray-painted cardboard box) with some black “windows” are all you need to make yourself as concrete and rectangular as everyone’s favorite study spot! And hey, you can tell everyone you were in Playboy.
Pick-up line of choice: “You’re a PLME? Damn, I bet you’ll be spending a lot of time inside of me this year.”