Sixth Man: Football

In case you hadn’t heard by now, a big, news-worthy rout happened recently–Brown football took down Yale, 20-0. Alright, I hear you all out there: “We play more football games after Homecoming? We play football games at all? We have Homecoming? We have sports? We go to ‘Brown’?” Yes on all accounts, and as it happens, we were lucky to schedule Yale, because they suck. (Actually, we weren’t really “lucky” to schedule them, since we play every Ivy League school by rule. But you get the point.)

It turns out that Yale’s tried-and-true offensive gameplan is “run backwards and get sacked or tackled for a loss three times in a row, then let our superhuman punter kick the ball 7 million yards.” Like seriously, holy shit, Yale’s punter is amazing! His gifts are probably in part due to the fact that he has to do his job every two seconds because Yale’s offense is depressingly horrendous, but damn. He’s got “All-Ivy” written all over him, and you know that nothing builds a resume quite like being named All-Ivy punter. He’s going places.

Anyway, our football team looked pretty good. Also they looked big, pretty damn big; i.e., I’m not about to say anything negative about them. But that’s not necessary anyway, since they actually played quite well, absolutely shutting down Yale’s crummy offense and moving the ball slowly but surely during two long touchdown drives (in addition to booting a pretty impressive 46-yard field goal). So huzzah for Da Bears–come check out their last home game (Senior Day) on Nov. 17 against Columbia. It’ll be a good time.

Men’s Soccer Update: Blog’s crush on the men’s soccer team is reeling after an agonizing, deflating 1-1 tie with Yale Saturday night. The tie didn’t change Bruno’s #11 national ranking, but it did give Cornell back control of the Ivy League title, as the Medium-Sized Red can now clinch the league with a win over Columbia this Saturday. The result was all the more crushing given the dynamics of the game–Da Bears outshot Yale 36-15 (12-4 shots on goal)–and had several golden opportunities in both overtime periods to score the game-winner. It was certainly a bittersweet Senior Night send-off for the graduating players (defenders Ryan McDuff, Eric Robertson, and Dylan Remick, goalie Sam Kernan-Schloss, and midfielders Tom McNamara, Bobby Belair, and Kevin Gavey), though they fought hard and it was quite clear who the better team was. Brown will visit Dartmouth on Friday to wrap up the season, though no outcome will change the fact that we are headed for the NCAA tournament. Stay posted for more updates.

Men’s Water Polo Update: Blog’s next favorite team, men’s water polo, similarly suffered a setback this week, falling 8-7 to St. Francis in the CWPA Northern Division Championship game. The result causes Brown to fall behind St. Francis, whatever the fuck that is, in the rankings, and temporarily lose its status as best team on the East Coast. But we all know who the best team on the East Coast really is, and it’s not the one that I am still suspicious is a high school near where I live. Bruno (Da Bears) will have a chance to redeem itself at the more important Eastern Championships, Nov. 16-18 at Princeton. And from there, they will go to the NCAA Tournament (?). I don’t really know how college water polo is structured. But probably they will then go to a national tournament and attempt to dethrone the California teams. Stay tuned.

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