Arboreal Apocalypse 2012: And so it begins…

Grab your secular bulletproof vests and clutch your crucifix a little tighter. The first shot of the annual War on Christmas has been fired, right here in the state of Rhode Island.

That is, if Bill O’Reilly is to be believed.

I mean, this is a man who reports on things called “Supreme Rulings.” We’ve given him too much power to NOT believe him.

In Bill’s Talking Points Memo on Tuesday, he called out Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee ’75 P’14 for referring to the big thing with branches and lights in the State House as a “holiday tree,” rather than a dangerously partisan “Christmas tree.” This isn’t the first time this has happened. Last year protesters interrupted some happy kids with a pointedly religious rendition of “O Christmas Tree,” and on Tuesday Bill claimed he’d have people stationed in the crowd as soon as he found out the date of this year’s ceremony. Well, he’s out of luck on that front: in a surprise assault on the forces of the faithful, today Chafee gave a half-hour warning and basically just flipped a switch on the way to lunch, no questions asked.

Think that’s the end of the story? Fool! Holiday skirmishes don’t end that easily. Now that Chafee has committed the dastardly act of using PC language to describe the most holy and definitely not pagan of human traditions, he’ll get a chance to defend himself against and/or be talked over by O’Reilly this evening during “The O’Reilly Factor” (8 p.m. EST). Considering that Bill managed to include the phrases “Christians are the enemy,” “got his butt kicked,” “this is insane,” “peace be with you, Governor Chafee,” and “U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice” in a single tirade against a tree, it should be a level-headed, if far-reaching, interview.

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