I warn you now, you might feel like you’re back in 4th-6th grade when you take this study break. You also might never get back to work. For many, particularly those who grew up without a console gaming system (GameCube, PS2, etc.) Miniclip.com was the ultimate center of online fun. There was what felt like an infinite amount of games for people of all interests. Entire playdates were dedicated to beating certain levels of Acno’s Energizer (more on that later). In order to exponentially increase the likelihood of you adding Miniclip to your SelfControl blacklist and take you on a walk down memory lane, we’ve put together the top 10 – in no particular order – all-time Miniclip games. Check them out after the jump, and feel free to comment with any you think we missed.
1. Bubble Trouble – Great for teambuilding, Bubble Trouble was the perfect combination of a simple premise and maddeningly difficult later stages. Make it to level 5 without losing any lives and you’re golden. And let’s be real, who didn’t speak in tongues trying to imitate the game’s intro?
2. Leo Steel – 2D Temple Run. ‘Nuff said. Unfortunately requires Shockwave to play (like many of the games on the site), so it’s not exactly Mac-friendly.
3. Gravity – Why take PHYS0030 or GEOL0050 when you could just learn about this stuff in a sick retro game? Gets shockingly, beyond-10-year-old-mental-faculties hard once you have to start sending your ship in orbit around the planets.
4. Heli Attack 2 – Incredibly overwhelming the first time you played (WHAT ARE ALL THESE HELICOPTERS AND WHY AM I DYING SO QUICKLY???????), but easy learning curve. Also 72645356 different kinds of weapons from the definitely real to pie-in-the-sky absurd (lookin’ at you, FireMines). One of those games that let you rack up points for seemingly anything, so your high scores would end up in the millions. Always makes you feel awesome.
5. 3 Foot Ninja 2 – An impressive array of controls for an online game and cut scenes to boot gave 3 Foot Ninja 2 the leg up on all other martial arts titles.
6. 8 Ball Pool – Perhaps the most popular Miniclip game of all time. Superbly addicting, and you could play your friends in it too. Came out around the time when MMOs started becoming socially acceptable (see: Warcraft, World of), but we more “casual” gamers were happy to settle for this title.
7. Monkey Lander – All the great parts about Gravity, but easier and with Monkeys!
8. Big Snow Tricks – A bit modern, I know – read: probably came out after 2005 – but it was so hard that I had to include it. Above-par graphics are decidedly un-Miniclip, but you have to appreciate them when you see them. This game also fueled my unhealthy obsession with learning to snowboard for a few extra months.
9. Starship Seven – The sequel (Starship Eleven, couldn’t tell you what happened to Eight, Nine, and Ten) may have overcomplicated a simple concept. Starship Seven, however, required just the right combination of puzzle game craftiness and shooting precision. Heavily level-based like Bubble Trouble, it provided for hours of infuriating failure before the ultimate victory.
10. Acno’s Energizer – Perhaps my personal favorite, Acno’s Energizer had it all. Playdates became a wash in trying to beat certain stages. Becoming a master required both brains and speed. NB: There’s also a special circle of Hell for those who just looked up the level codes online. You know who you are.
Non-Miniclip Winner: Icy Tower – Not a Miniclip game, for sure, but HOW FUN WAS ICY TOWER? Downloading it onto school computers and playing during Computer Lab was always the move. I never quite understood the running-sideways-makes-you-jump-higher concept, but still a great alternative to learning how to use Excel.