Each new term brings with it a world of possibility, which is only heightened by the start of a new year. Plus, 2013 has proved to be shockingly awesome already, only furthering my delusions of grandeur. I mean, Destiny’s Child got back together, so that’s a dream come true; JT is releasing new music, meaning he maybe realized acting is um, not as much his thing; a TEMPLE RUN 2 CAME OUT; Kim and Kanye got pregnant to entertain us; and there are new salad containers at Jos which may look smaller but they’re not—they actually allow for much better dressing distribution (!). It seems that the world is becoming more and more perfect.
Thus, we have no choice but to make new semester’s resolutions. Luna Lovebad is about to share with you hers, and I’ll explain why I am incapable of keeping any.
Luna: After missing two finals due to my sickness (thanks a lot, Mono), I’ve decided to make my classes my top priority. Since the newness of college has worn off slightly, I’m now realizing the importance of doing well in school. Don’t be afraid to go to tutoring sessions or ask for help! Brown has so many resources available for our use.
Deena: This will be the term I am never late for class! figure out my concentration! take a class my father would approve of, like high-level Econ or Engineering, something on computers/creating Internet stuff, and other Practical Knowledge! post on Blog at least twice a week, probably more, to the point where my editors might even think I’m TOO competent! Don’t make the resolutions too ridiculous. Shopping period elicits a lot I’m-going-to-take-five-courses-and-SNC-nothing-ever epiphanies. Um, that’s just not going to happen. Or as one professor of a 9 a.m. class I shopped put it, “Class is very crowded today! Not to worry, I’m sure people will drop soon, that’s why I have my classes at 9 a.m.” (I am not taking the class).
L: I would not wish Mono upon my worst enemy. I was exhausted for multiple weeks and was not very productive. While I’m about 80% sure I was infected at SPG, I still have no idea who the attacker was. Trying to figure out who gave you Mono is like attempting to find Waldo: tiring and unproductive. Not to mention the debatably worst part: it’s really embarrassing when you have to tell your former flames about the contagion you contracted. This semester is all about staying healthy. Take vitamins, always wash your hands, and don’t put off going to Health Services. And if you’re feeling under the weather, don’t go out! Trust me, it makes you ten times sicker.
D: Ah, going to the gym. The most classic and lovable of the new semester’s resolutions. You either go with another resolution-maker and both leave in shame because there is so much gym etiquette that you and your friend just don’t seem to comprehend, or you go with a gym-going friend and leave having lost said friend’s respect and hating him/her for being so far superior in life. I know (because someone else told me) the gym is currently more crowded than usual because of those as
naive ridiculous driven as I am.
Also drunk you at Jo’s never, ever, remembers all your spicy with or mozzarella stick rules.
L: Aaaah, love is in the air. It always seems to happen that, around November, couples begin to form. The cold weather promotes relationships but, as spring begins to bloom, more singletons emerge. Everyone gets Spring Fever. So while your soul may not be bewitched right now, your time will come. In the meantime, enjoy the company of your friends and family and revel in the laughter and happiness that they provide.
D: Yeah you can’t really plan/resolve on stuff like this, like in this season of Girls where Hannah is trying make room for “the kind of sexy, responsible boyfriend” she’s always dreamed of, who is less murder-y, but actually spending time with someone named Laird who got her cocaine (for work).
L: The new semester is all about fresh starts. We get four new and exciting classes where there is a lot of potential to make new friends. We have the opportunity to take on new extracurricular activities. So, while I’m attempting to keep it classy this semester, I’m also going to take some risks. Try out for acapella or IMPROVidence. Sign up for that new fitness class. Search for a different study space. This new semester is the perfect time to try something you never got the chance to do in the fall. I can’t wait to see what it brings.
D: OR, commiserate with other shitty resolution keepers on how bad you are at life. Whatever works.