Frosh-cessities: Pulling an all-nighter

As the all-nighter delirium sets in, your Louis eggs may turn into bear heads.

As the all-nighter delirium sets in, your Louis eggs may turn into bear heads.

A few weeks ago, I did the SciLi challenge. No, not that SciLi challenge—think of this as the nighttime, SciLi version of the Ratty challenge. I spent all night in the SciLi, and capped it off with a little Louis. Like the Ratty challenge, my all-nighter consisted of food, some work, more food, and a hallucination or two.

For some, the all-nighter is a routine experience the night before that weekly problem set is due; for others, it’s only done on weekend nights when partying til the a.m. I had never pulled a real all-nighter before, so for the sake of journalism (and the fact that I had to finish two problem sets by the next morning), I did the new SciLi challenge and recorded my experiences gradual descent into delirium.

9:00 p.m. Guys, I think we can finish this problem set before midnight!

Spoiler alert: This did not happen.
Problems completed: 0/6

9:28 p.m. What the fuck is this shit? Physics? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

10:00 p.m. “Sorry y’all, we have this room reserved.” Really? You actually have the nerve to—okay fine, whatever. We move to another SciLi study room.

11:00 p.m. “Hey guys, sorry but we have this room—” Reserved, yeah, we get it, alright? We move to a third study room.


Problems completed: 1/6

11:58 p.m. I have enough time to make it to the Ivy Room to get a smoothie, right?

12:41 a.m. Oh yeah, got another one. What, what. What, what. Walk up to the club like what up I got a big—Oh sorry, yeah we’ll be quieter.

Problems completed: 2/6

1:30 a.m. %#@$ing bell! What the #$*&!

1:35 a.m. The bell is still ringing. I think I’m going to go deaf.

2:00 a.m. Do you think if we hung from the ceiling lights security wouldn’t notice us and wouldn’t kick us out?

2:03 a.m. SciLi security kicks us out. We migrate to the basement and find yet another study room.

Problems completed: 3/6

2:09 a.m. Hey look, someone left half a bag of Swedish fish! Wait, they might be contaminated with norovirus…  oh, fuck it.

2:16 a.m. I wonder if I could throw this pen at the wall and get it to stick in one of the holes.

2:32 a.m. Nope.

Problems completed: still 3/6
Swedish Fish eaten: 17
Number of pens successfully stuck in wall: 0

3:32 a.m. Why the hell is there only one women’s stall down here? What do they think we are, camels?

3:41 a.m. Did you guys know that a serving of Swedish fish is 20 fish?

4:00 a.m. OMG I understand all of physics!

Problems completed: 4/6
Swedish fish eaten: 31

4:03 a.m. So have we tried Googling this? Wolfram Alpha? Tumblr? Please someone help! Bill Nye? Jenna Marbles?

4:17 a.m. Why am I studying physics again? Why couldn’t I just choose humanities?!

4:32 a.m. Pulling an all-nighter is kind of like being high. You start to question whether things are real, you get the munchies, and you have really deep insights. Hey guys, did you ever think about the fact that the brain named itself?

Note: Whoa.
Problems completed: 5/6

4:45 a.m. We got all of them! We’re done! Suck on that motherfu—what? We still have to do math?

Physics problems completed: 6/6
Math completed: 0%

5:00 a.m. Time for Louis!! Food!

5:20 a.m. I can’t tell if these eggs are disgusting or delicious. Either way, I should definitely Instagram them right now. Ooh, Earlybird filter! WAIT, is Rise punnier?

5:36 a.m. Back to work! We can definitely knock this math out in a few minutes and still go to sleep at a reasonable time!

Spoiler alert: Okay, I don’t even think you need one this time.

6:21 a.m. Hey I should take a selfie right now so I can see how I look after being awake for 24 hours!

Note: do not take selfies during an all-nighter. You will regret it.
Math completed: 25%

6:59 a.m. Oh look, the sunrise, that’s nice. Wait, sunrise means the sun is rising, which means its daytime again, which means I’ve been up for… shit.

Math completed: 50%

7:37 a.m. I think I work better after an all-nighter! I should do this every night!

Note: This is a delusion. It’s just easier to think this than to admit that you probably could have finished all your work in a couple hours and gotten some sleep if you had actually been working the whole time.
Math completed: 75%

8:30 a.m. DONE! Victory dance time. Somebody Vine this.

Math completed: 100%

8:40 a.m. Problem sets turned in! I feel great. If I grabbed a latté, I could totally go to my 9 a.m right now.

8:41 a.m. Sorry, that was the delirium speaking. Bed, here I come. Wait, which way is my dorm?

9:00 a.m. Stand up, drank! Pass out, draaa….

The all-nighter challenge: completed. Next mission, the Great Triathlon: The Ratty challenge, the SciLi all-nighter, and the real SciLi challenge, all in 24 hours. It’s on.

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