The Weekly Dive: Aruba Steve’s

Aruba Steve's

Brent Grossman-McKee ’13 and Leslie Clark ’14 both contributed to this post. I love hitting up random dive bars on my own, of course, but friends make the trip exponentially more fun. 

In short:

Hours: 11 a.m.–2 a.m.
Attire: Swimsuit
Accepts credit cards: I guess
Ambience: Ocean-themed
Price range: $
Good for groups: If they can fit inside
Good for kids: Perfect replacement for the beach!
Takes reservations: No need
Outdoor seating: No way
Good for: Meeting drifters
Alcohol: Full bar, Fish-based drinks
Noise level: Loud-ish. Depends how drunk the singer is.

The long version: 

After a typical week of light working and heavy drinking, Leslie, Brent, and I decided to relax by going out. After some light drinking, we moseyed our way downtown with every intention of going to a typical bar, but on our way we got a little lost, on account of the drinking. Purely by chance, we found ourselves outside of Aruba Steve’s.
Upon entering Aruba Steve’s—affectionately referred to some as Scuba Steve’s because of the aquatic theme—Leslie, Brent, and I noticed two things. First, the ceiling fan was hanging a little low. We dabbled in thought and naturally wondered if any Bar Mitzvah boys were lifted in the air only to become decapitated. We doubted Aruba Steve himself would have created such an anti-Semitic ploy, but I digress. Second, while the maximum capacity of the bar was 52 people, there was no way the bar could hold 52 people. With roughly 20 people inside, claustrophobics would rather be locked in a coffin with only the distant sound someone shoveling dirt overhead.

Upon entering, we headed to the bar, and settled on a couple 20-oz. brews to hold us over. Playing to the nickname of Scuba Steve’s, the bar offers some drinks from fish bowls. I don’t usually like to stereotype and generalize people, but when the two girls you talk to are named Pixi (with an I) and Roxy, you get a little leeway. Perhaps, these X-laden, X-rated names are representative of the type of person you will find at Scuba Steve’s: attractive, but probably crazy. This person is probably only there because he or she is from wayyyyy out of town, likely from either Nebrahoma or Romanovia.

Even more lively than the crowd was the “live band”…by which I mean the one man playing guitar. Surprisingly, he wasn’t half bad (more like three-quarters bad). Three quarters was probably all he earned anyway, since he was a drifter and had no place to sleep that night. I felt bad not offering him a place to sleep, but at least his sober rendition of “Sweet Home Alabama” was fantastic to sing along to. Aruba Steve’s is a lot of fun and while we don’t think you should rush to go there, you may want to “Bucket List” this baby as a senior.

Overall, we give Aruba Steve’s 3 6⁄7 out of 5 stars.

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