For those of you who haven’t heard about Lulu, it’s an app that lets girls rate guys. It’s advertised as “the first database of men, built by women, for women.” The app is only accessible to girls with Facebook accounts and claims to be “as private as you want it to be.” The app also has a counterpart for males, allowing them to see the general feedback they have received, in addition to receiving”tips and insights about the mysterious world of women.”
Let’s run down our opinions on it, shall we?
According to Cosmopolitan, Lulu is is the lovechild of Sex and the City and Facebook. I am not so sure. Why? Because Sex and the City rocks and this app kind of sucks. Upon initially hearing about Lulu, on a scale of one-to-puke, I wanted run to the toilet and clutch my stomach for dear life. After cruising for a solid
three hours twenty minutes, I realized, however, that this app has major trolling potential. I am going to share exactly how this app grinds my gears, but also why it’s mildly hilarious.
Prepare yourselves because I’m about to go all Upton Sinclair in the The Jungle‘s meatpacking district.
99 Problems and they’re all about Lulu– There are definitely some serious problems with Lulu. For example, the app is painfully hetereonormative (…can I graduate now?). Ignoring Lulu’s other problems, simply look at the fact that it only allows girls to access the app to only rate guys. A massive red flag should be going up right about now. We live in world where plenty of people don’t adhere the Lulu norm, but ladies, its all okay in the end because “Lulu gives [you] the power to be Taylor Swift,” according to its blog: “Enough said.”
Hold up… I’m sorry, what?
In addition, I’m not quite sure how Alexandra Chong, Lulu’s founder, convinced herself that “her girlfriends needed” such a sexist piece of garbage, or that Lulu is really “all about encouraging good, gentlemanly behaviour,” but lo and behold, ladies and gents: Lulu really exists. The best part is that every girl can contribute to a guy’s rating so it creates a database that puts an “emphasis on collective wisdom.” And don’t worry, Lulu is clearly a safe space that encourages good speech, because the system makes it “impossible to reveal the size of a guy’s itty bitty friend.”
Phew. I was worried there for a second.
Lulu’s potential silver lining– Imagine if Lulu were trolling all of us. Think about the hilarious potential of this app. Maybe this is all one large joke and the app’s only purpose is to eventually reveal everything girls say about boys. Imagine the chaos that would ensue. In addition, Lulu can’t be for real when it gives the option of choosing #PlaysDigeridoo under “worst traits.” I mean, come on? When someone doesn’t think that Digeridoo players are the sexiest beings alive, you know something must be up.
Also, does anyone else think its funny that the only pre-requisite for being on Lulu’s database is being registered as a male on Facebook? That allows me to rate my friend’s dog, which is essentially why I wanted the app in the first place. Thanks Lulu for always having my back!
I feel objectified…and I like it. I first found out about this app at the end of winter break when I visited a friend at Georgetown. Like any
not so tech-savvy college student, I inquired as to what this so called “Lulu” business was all about. Much to my chagrin, no one filled me in.
Fast forward to Wednesday, April 24 at approximately 5:23 pm when I receive a text from a friend. His manifesto read, “Yo. Girls have been rating us. There’s an app called Lulu and chances are girls have reviewed you and written about your flaws. If you want to combat them, help me bring this app crashing down.” Details on the warfare shall not be disclosed due to our fear of a strategic disadvantage, but let it be known, girls, that we know. We know.
When presented with such a quandary, you get to find out what type of person you really are. There are a couple possible reactions:
- You desperately text your closest female friend asking them to download Lulu (if they haven’t already–traitor) and search your name. The conclusion: You are vain as fuck. Then again, who isn’t? The curiosity of finding out what your peers are saying was too overwhelming. You crack.
- You cheat the system. You switch your Facebook gender to female (hidden from timeline, obviously), which prohibits girls from rating you. The conclusion: Ain’t nobody got time for that. While this might reduce your chances of finding a lucky lady who enjoys the perks of “collective wisdom,” at least you’ll be able to sleep at night knowing that you have been victorious.
- You acquire a girl’s phone and troll, troll, troll. Girls trust other girls, at least when they talk about guys. Exploit this to your best ability and give them false leads. Mess with the rankings and descriptions. They’ll never know.
Whatever your reaction may be, join forces with us and bring this app down.