Who doesn’t love Instagram? With filters that turn any selfie into a filtered selfie, it’s the bona fide hipster app of the decade, which means Brown students must love it. And I do love Instagram as much as anyone. Trust me, I do. But much like the way one avoids Facebook during the Super Bowl (who wants to read 100 statuses in a row all recounting information about an event literally the entire world is watching?), there are times when every photo on your Instagram feed looks eerily similar.
What exactly is an Instagram holiday, you ask?
Instagram Holiday (n): An occasion that incites a multitude of Instagrams with similar (or the same) content. Includes real holidays as well as social events, popular sports games and natural and frequent weather patterns.
Used in a sentence: “I think snowfall is my favorite Instagram Holiday.”
Used in another sentence: “Excuse me professor, but tomorrow is #throwbackthursday, a very religious Instagram Holiday, so I actually will not be attending class.”
While Instagram Holidays are irksome, no doubt (I avoid the app on Thursdays. You were young and cute. Then you grew up. We all get it. It’s called biology.), they are less indicative of the person Instagramming than the people looking at the Instagram. If your picture of a snowy tree is going to garner an excessive number of “likes,” why not give the people what they want?
The snow Instagram is particularly pertinent now. The Main Green is never more social media famous than after a good snow. “I woke up like this,” I imagine the Main Green saying, blushing from all the iPhone attention. Common captions include “Wishin’ I was back in sunny California right now!” (or some variation) or simply the snowflake emoji. Other favorite spots include the Brown bear statue, Pembroke quad and the always artsy, always original shot through a window. To be fair, the Main Green is flawless after a night of snowfall.
But, fear not, winter is not the only Instagram Holiday-heavy season! I more or less consider all of fall an Instagram Holiday. The definite Brown favorite is a picture of the path leading from the Main Green to Ruth Simmon’s Quad.
A trip to Blue State also counts as an Instagram holiday–it’s not every day you drink a mocha with a fun design on top!
Arriving back on campus after a break is another must-Instagram moment. The caption is, without fail, “we back” or some song lyrics containing either the word “home” or “back”. With homecoming comes the obligatory tailgate pic. But even I admit this is a vital one. After all, how else can we prove to our friends at other colleges that we
have a football team actually do play (and extremely sporadically watch) sports at Brown?
The list goes on forever. Father’s Day and Mother’s Day (I get it, you love your parents), Thanksgiving (You ate a lot of food. Same.), a friend’s birthday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Yes, every weekday is in fact an Instagram Holiday. If you don’t know what fun alliterative holiday falls on each day, consider yourself lucky.