Too busy watching the sweet new Into the Woods trailer on a loop to watch the new NBA season?
Too occupied with shutting down Silk Road 2.0 to check out the excellent NFL action?
Simply don’t care about sports?
Here’s what you’ve been missing.
This Week in Sports
This curling shot. I’m no religious curling fanatic, but I had to reevaluate my existence on this earth when I was presented with the beauty of that shot.
LeBron and the Cleveland Cavaliers have started the season 1-3, including a loss to the lowly Utah Jazz and a crushing 19-point defeat by the Portland Trail Blazers, after being projected by me to be “Good. Very good.” Is it too early to start worrying about the team? Probably. Does that stop me from doing it? No. I want this team to be fun to watch, and so far, the superstar trio of Kyrie Irving, Kevin Love, and LeBron are being outscored by an average of 7 points when they are all playing together. That’s not very fun.
Also on the subject of the Cavs, LeBron-lover Brian Windhorst wrote a story for ESPN detailing how LeBron is playing poorly on purpose in order to teach his teammates a lesson. What this lesson entails is still unclear…
Back to the NBA, where the Dallas Mavericks have been off to a pretty solid start, picking up wins over New Orleans and Boston. But even more solid is the rap that Dirk Nowitzki, Monta Ellis, and Chandler Parsons wrote and performed this week:
For the 16th time in their careers, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady faced off , and for the 11th time, Tom Brady and the Patriots were victorious. More importantly, Tom Brady scored a role in Ted 2, meaning that the score stands 1-0 in favor of Brady when it comes to starring in movies with Marky Mark.
In Philadelphia, starting quarterback Nick Foles fractured his clavicle and was replaced by Buttfumble McGhee Mark Sanchez who performed admirably. No word on whether he will wear his trademark headband for his first start as an Eagle.
Butt, if we had to guess, we’d say buttfumble yes.
Sports Video of the Week
Check out Mike Tyson trying to beat himself in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!