Last week, I wrote about the hand job: a staple of the early hook up years, whose favor has gone by the wayside. But, what about vagina owners? I think they deserve some hand-love, too.
Since I moved out of my freshman dorm room, I have not discussed “fingering” whatsoever. As an obvious lover of foreplay, I, along with the support of my partners, incorporated it into the pre-sex motions. I failed to give it the “extracurricular” thought it deserved, as my mind was preoccupied with new sex positions and blow job techniques. During Nick Offerman’s lecture at Brown last semester, he talked a lot about how great his sex life is with his wife, Megan Mullally. Nothing stuck with me as much, however, as his discussion of “fingerblasting” her to orgasm. “I want that!” I thought to myself. Similar to the hand job, getting fingered has been seamlessly integrated into foreplay, but does not often get the chance to stand on its own. Furthermore, from my own experience, it seems to be a lot more poking and prodding than anything actually arousing. This is not a gynecologic exam; you’re not trying to feel my uterus. If we’re going to do this, let’s do it right, please. So, let’s get down to it after the jump:
- If things have been going well in your hook up so far, vaginas do a pretty good job lubricating themselves. That being said, a little lube never killed nobody (that’s a Fergie song, right?). Water-based is the best.
- If you do not know anything about basic anatomy, please, for your own sake and your partner’s, educate yourself; that’s what the internet is for. I’m not going to go into specifics, but, basically, vaginas are a lot more compact than penises. Similar to giving a hand job, the beginning is about adjusting your touch and technique to another person’s body. Listening to your partner about what feels good and what does not is extremely important. Start slowly with one finger to see how your partner feels and increase the number as they relax, both physically and mentally.
- Let’s be real here: the inside fingering is important to the equation, but it’s all about the clitoris. Everyone is different, though–some phes like direct clitoral stimulation, whereas others are highly sensitive and want touching around the clit. No matter where your partner falls on the spectrum, the clit is the key to the Big O.
- Once you’re all up in there, there are two important factors: tempo and motions. Like the hand job, building up the speed and slowing it down, in intervals, with faster motions at the end, is usually a good trick. Unlike the hand job, the motions are very different: for clitoral stimulation, two fingers making cyclical motions and/or going up and down or side to side both feel great. Make sure you are combining clitoral stimulation with the internal work for ultimate pleasure.
Readers, I am proposing a challenge: forgo your normal sexual routine, and have a night of hands-only fun. It seems ridiculous, but it is exciting to explore someone’s body, whether you’ve known them for a night or the last three years, and to have your body explored. You never know; it could be your new favorite move.