Sextion: Lovers and Friends


Admit it: you have that one friend you have always thought was cute/hot/sexy. You may have wondered if there was something more there, behind the witty banter and flirty arm touching. So what happens when you/they finally make a move? How do you remain friends no matter what? Let’s walk through the different scenarios.

One time thing: You two hooked up OMG! Whether it was a DFMO, after a late night study sesh at the Rock, or while watching a movie, it happened. The most important thing here is to acknowledge it after the fact. While you may not want to make eye contact with that phe you hooked up with at ADOCH when you pass each other on the Green, you owe it to your friend to at least admit to it, in whatever manner you deem appropriate. It might feel less awkward to sweep it under the rug, but having that unspoken gorilla in the room will just make things weird. Trust me, it took me years to figure that one out.

Friends with benefits: The first time was so great, you decided to go for it again (and again and again). This is truly the ideal hook-up situation: someone you genuinely enjoy spending time and physical affection with. What could be better? I would advise you to tread lightly here. It is very easy to develop feelings; as I said, you are already friends, and when you add intimacy, it can get messy, especially when feelings are mutual.

Full-blown relationship: Maybe you decide you like each other so much you want to make things official. That’s awesome! Friendship is the foundation of any good relationship, the experts say, and you have that in strides. Plus, there’s a good chance you already have a ton of mutual friends, which makes hanging out on the weekend so much easier. Sounds pretty perfect to me. Congrats you crazy kids!

Friends can be the most fun people to hook up with because of the sense of compatibility and comfort you already have with them. What’s important to remember (and what I have often forgotten) is that you should do what you want. This is someone you probably care about, and you want to make them happy, but that does not mean you need to put yourself into a situation where you don’t want to be. If both friends are willing and able, it can be a great bonding moment with the potential for a “happy ending.”

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