Sextion: What happens when you hook up with your #1 crush at Brown


Brown students are often ranked the most attractive among the Ivies, so much so that there was once a rumor that the admissions office required headshots with applications.

While that’s up for debate, I can easily say that I see at least one person I am attracted to every day on this campus. Clearly, other Brunonians feel the same way: just look at Brown Admirers or Brown Confessions. Regardless of the overwhelming hotness of our student body, many of us pinpoint that one person who is the epitome of physical attractiveness to you. You stare at them across the Main Green, daydreaming about what they’re like, and what it would be like to finally kiss them and be with them. So, what happens when you actually hook up with them? Does the fantasy come to fruition?

Last year, I was totally obsessed with a senior, Sean.* Sean was exactly how I would describe my type: tall but not too tall, brunette, great smile, vaguely dad-like, with a body that looked like he worked out… but not too much (in all honesty, I don’t really care about this at all). (If you look like all of the above, please e-mail me). He seemed cool, nice, and smart. If only I could find a way to meet him… then he would totally like me/think I’m hot, and things would go swimmingly, right?

There were a few setbacks along the way (like the time I saw him hooking up with another girl on Halloween or the fact that we basically had no mutual friends or interests), but I managed to finally score by the end of the semester (that’s a whole other article in itself). The first time we hooked up was awkward, but I didn’t care because I had achieved my goal. Plus, all hook-ups take a little time to figure out what’s going on.

Yet, it never really got better. There was no chemistry whatsoever–the sex was dead silent, which is just as awful as it sounds… and despite my absolutely imaginary infatuation, I didn’t even like hanging out with him.

You would think that I would come to my senses, back off, and move onto greener pastures. Unfortunately, I’m not that smart. I spent an entire semester trying to make this thing work, but continually came up short. It made me miserable and frustrated. Instead of switching my focus to someone who was more compatible with me, I wasted months and tons of energy.

There’s a point to this anecdote, I swear. What I’m trying to illustrate is that while there is that one person on campus you think is the absolute hottest human you’ve ever seen, they are still a person with their own desires and motivations, and unfortunately, statistically speaking, likely won’t be what you want or need.

There are so many other amazing people on this campus and all you have to do is look around. Don’t limit yourself to one, unless they are absolutely the right one. If you’ve noticed any trend in these articles, it’s that I want to encourage you to explore yourself and your options because now is the time to do so. And to be clear, I’m not saying don’t pursue your crush–more just leave your mind and heart open for others as well. There’s plenty of time to peruse hotties on the Faunce Steps during Reading Period.

*name changed to protect anonymity

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