25* Things Learned from Freshman Year

Our editors asked us to make a list of 50 things we learned during our freshman year–so naturally we decided to do 25. Blog is S/NC right??

i have no clue what this is

1. Points are not unlimited.

Hank: I made it rain in the Blue Room the first week of first semester… until all of my points were gone.

Jack: I took a little longer than Hank to realize this cold truth. To be honest, I didn’t really know what points were. Turns out points are just a cute way of saying money.

2. How to Navigate the Gender-Neutral Bathrooms.

Hank: My only tip for any user of a communal, gender neutral bathroom is to wear someone else’s shoes.

Jack: I only wear Hank’s shoes.


3. What is open late late night.

Hank: Sometimes you need food past Jo’s hours: that is the beauty of Foodler (New York Pizza is my spot).

Jack: Hank is a much better authority on this since rumor has it that he actually lives in one of the booths at Jo’s.

4. There are places to study other than the Rock and the SciLi.

Hank: The Rock and SciLi are so 2014. I am all about secret, secluded study spots… that I will never share. Force yourself to hunker down by separating yourself a little bit.

Jack: The John Hay Library, sooooooooooo hot right now.

5. Brown sporting events are actually fun.

Hank: Venture to the fields and bring your friends. It’s dope cheering on your peers, who actually are really good at their sports.

Jack: We may not win them all, but it’s great to support teams on which you actually know players.

6. Go to as many Chicken Finger Fridays as you can.

Hank: I basically sweat chicken fingers now.

Jack: I really feel like this is self-explanatory.

7. Keeney has a serious skunk problem.

Jack: The administration says they got rid of all the skunks with the renovations to Keeney a few years ago. But it’s all just smoke and mirrors if you ask my roommate.

Hank: Wait…I get it…

if this is a joke, it's a shitty one

8. Liberals eat at Nice Slice and Republicans eat at Antonio’s.

Hank: I heard if you eat at Skewers you bribe politicians.

Jack: We could not make this stuff up if we tried. It’s just the way it is. 

9. Take advantage of tv.brown.edu.

Jack: I did not discover this existed until second semester (embarrassingly). It is cable television that streams to your computer for FREE with love from Brown.

Hank: I have to second Jack here, I can only blame myself.

10. Brown supplies a way to be the perfect temperature in the winter, but they don’t care about you in the fall and spring.

Jack: You will sweat your ass off for the first six weeks of school and then be comfortable until you have to get a good night sleep for spring exams. The radiators in the bathrooms are also on all year, which to me seems like a sick, twisted joke.

Hank: I pre-gamed shirtless in the fall because I was so sweaty… I did not have many friends.

11. Follow the rules…most of the time.

Jack: Don’t be an idiot. I’m not saying that either of us have ever encountered trouble with authority, but hypothetically you’ll probably be fine….but still, use your head.

Hank: I plead the fifth.

12. Office hours are good for befriending TA’s.

Hank: TA’s grade your stuff, and they also will accept gifts in the form of food and money.

Jack: You know how in high school you could meet with a teacher to make sure they know you’re trying your best? Professors have no pity, while TA’s for the most part still remember the struggle.

13. Explore Providence.

Hank: Everyone says this but it’s actually so true. Providence is dope (that is how cool kids say cool) and is an awesome place to venture into.

Jack: Great food, just remember your meal credits are not valid at Den Den.

14. Play an intramural sport.

Hank: It is a great way to get active and blow off some steam. Jack and I played basketball together, and our team somehow came in third place.

Jack: Although not everyone can be an intramural bowling champion, like me, you can try.

this is Jack

15. Get a Soundcloud.

Jack: Everyone thinks that they have the best music.

Hank: Open Curriculum and dope music, Brown has it all!

16. Christina Paxson isn’t on the meal plan.

Hank: I have never seen her in the Ratty or the VW.

Jack: But I have seen her at late night Jo’s…

17. Do your laundry. Please.

Jack: This seems like a no brainer, but you would be surprised at how many freshmen just decide to recycle their socks and shirts instead of cleaning them.

Hank: Rumor has it, Jack has been wearing the same pair of underwear for a week. 

18. Gym is your friend, not your enemy.

Jack: Don’t let all those chicken fingers go straight to your thighs.

Hank: This is something I wish I had learned.

19. Call your parents before they call you.

Hank: When my phone rings from my parents, my heart literally stops in fear of what is to come. I like to call and let my mom know I love her at least once a day as a way of preventing these angry calls.

Jack: I promise the conversation will be much more positive than if they have to call you. Also they will only try to call you on Friday and Saturday nights after 8 p.m.

20. Keep trying to meet more people.

Hank: You may think you have figured out who are going to be your best friends for the next three years, but don’t stop trying to meet interesting and fun new people.

Jack: Yeah, if you stop looking to meet people you might end up stuck with some duds (^). But seriously, people are really interesting and you can learn a lot from people you would not expect.

Hank: BOOM! Jack just got emotional on you and now I have the last word. Happy Summer.


Jack: Remember how we said we’d do 25? Not sure if you checked, but there are only 20.

Hank: Looks like 20 is the new 25.

Jack: Our editors are never going to approve this…

Hank: Did we mention that they are phenomenal leaders and all around great and attractive people?

Jack: Agreed.

Hank: Last word.

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