Dorm Room Bartender


We’ve all been there: It’s a Friday night, and that bottle of vodka you brought isn’t tasting very good. Taking shots can be efficient, but the intense garbage-y flavor associated with them can be pretty hard to handle sometimes. A lot of times, a mixed drink is the way to go. But if you’re pre-gaming in someone’s dorm room, you probably don’t have all the ingredients/appliances necessary to make a nice mojito. But don’t worry. Margaritas may be out of reach, but there are plenty of low-cost mixed drinks available to Brown students if you just take the time to look around. Check out some of these simple recipes that can be made with vodka, rum, Fireball cinnamon whiskey, and anything available at CVS or the Ratty:


5 Stars ★★★★★




This drink tastes pretty damn good. Its main flavors are coca-cola and cinnamon, with only a hint of alcoholic aftertaste. That’s kinda amazing, considering the fact that this drink is 60% hard alcohol.

Taste Experience: Like being a CEO of a fortune five hundred corporation and you’re getting drunk on a Tuesday night.

Recipe: 1 part vodka, 1 part rum, 1 part Fireball, 2 parts Coca-Cola


Spicy Cider


This stuff is incredible. It definitely tastes alcoholic, but its flavor is super sweet and complex. Super Autumnal.

Taste Experience: Like diving headfirst into a fresh apple pie.

Recipe: Half Fireball, half apple cider


4 Stars ★★★★


Cape Coder (Vodka Cranberry)


The cranberry juice in this one nearly covers up the taste of alcohol, and the color is pretty classy. Just watch out for your drunk friends spilling it; that stain’s not gonna come out.

Taste Experience: Like swallowing whole cranberries, one after the other.

Recipe: Half vodka, half cranberry juice (courtesy of the Ratty)



Lemonade’s a pretty typical mixer, but the acidity (like in the Cape Coder) really masks that amazing alcohol taste we all love. This drink is super common.

Taste Experience: Like being the classic college student at a party, dancing awkwardly near your friends but still having a good time.

Recipe: Half vodka, half pink lemonade (courtesy of the Ratty)


3 Stars ★★★


Faux Dark n Stormy


The real version of this drink involves ginger beer, which is an alcoholic beverage that I couldn’t find anywhere. However, substitute ginger beer for ginger ale and mix in some rum, and you’ve got yourself a pretty sweet drink. The ginger covers up the acidity of the rum and accents the sweetness.

Taste Experience: Like walking through a cool forest and then you trip on a rock.

Recipe: Half dark rum, half ginger ale


Vodka Guava


I expected this one to be amazing, since I’m addicted to the orange passionfruit guava juice from any dining hall around campus. However, like the screwdriver, the fruit flavor did little to cover the alcohol. It ranks as a solid ‘meh’.

Taste Experience: Like drinking a cool island breeze, except the island has a lot of dumpsters on it.

Recipe: Half vodka, half orange passionfruit guava juice (from the Ratty)


2 Stars ★★




Typically pretty good, but, this time, it was only ok. Most likely due to how generally weak orange juice from the Ratty is. The orange flavor was nice, but it really just tasted like watered-down vodka.

Taste Experience: Like living in Florida, but you’re surrounded by gators.

Recipe: Half vodka, half orange juice (from the Ratty)


Rum and Red Bull


It’s a great song, definitely, but rum and red bull just tastes like really sweet rum. Red bull makes for an excellent chaser, but it’s too strong for mixing.

Taste Experience: Like you’re a frat bro.

Recipe: Half dark rum, half red bull


1 Star ★


Vodka Water


Some guy on my floor told me about this one. It’s definitely interesting, if ‘interesting’ means ‘tastes exactly like what you’d expect it to’. If plain vodka is too strong and you’re desperate, this may be an answer. Otherwise, please respect yourself and don’t.

Taste Experience: Like trying to drink a glass of water, but the neighborhood kids keep throwing rocks at you.

Recipe: One third vodka, two thirds water


Vodka Milk


Oh my god. Ohh my ggoddd. Ohhhhh wow. Ohhh mmyymy goodddddd. Oh sweet Jesus oh Jesus Jesus. No. No, please don’t. Protect yourself. Why did someone think this was real? It’s not as bad as you’d think, but that doesn’t make it good. Milk and vodka. Milk and vodka. I’m furious. Honestly, what is this. Why. Who is responsible for this? I’m going to fight them.

Taste Experience: Like being teleported straight to Hell.

Recipe: Vodka and milk and weird glances from your friends as you try to mix it


Consider giving some of these a try for your next dorm/house party if supplies are low. They just might get you turnt.


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