Looking for the perfect holdiay pick me up? Head to the Holiday Party at Andrews happening from now until 7 p.m! Thanks to Assistant Manager, Bobby Noyes, and the other culinary geniuses of Brown University Dining Services, you’ll be amazed by the delicious foods and beautiful holiday displays. The event even includes a live mariachi band made of students working for BUDS.
This event is not to be missed. The menu is prix-fixe; for two meal credits, you can indulge yourself in all of your favorite holiday treats. The menu includes Garlic & Rosemary Rubbed Beef Tenderloin and Chili Orange Glazed Pork Tenderloin in the carving station. For sides: Lobster & Shrimp Mac n’ Cheese, Smashed Red Bliss Potatoes, Asian Green Bean Casserole, Balsamic Roasted Beets, Steamed Asparagus, Shaved Fennel Slaw, Roasted Brussels Sprout Salad, and Warm Biscuits with a delicious whipped chai butter.
And finally, the desserts: Gingerbread and Sugar Cookies, Candy Canes, Double Chocolate Peppermint Bars, Bananas Foster, and Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows. If you are vegetarian, the prix-fixe is only one meal credit.
My favorites included the tender beef tenderloin, the balsamic roast beets and the creamy mac and cheese (all pictured above).
WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!
It has recently come to our attention that everyone on this campus calls the above eatery by a different name. Yes, we know that simply calling it “Andrews” would suffice, but it appears that Brunonians from all walks of campus life refers to this center of pizza and pho goodness with vastly different nicknames. Your vote on this poll will determine how Blog refers to this beloved eatery in the future… maybe. Can someone kindly tell me, WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!
Brown’s interior designers seem to have predilection for strange, colorful, modern furniture. For example, the “why the heck am I sitting in a giant gumdrop” Candy Land-like chairs in the SciLi or the bright orange chairs that most closely resemble a horse hoof in Metcalf make zero sense. Andrews Commons is no exception. I’m talking about that 50-foot booth that extends across Commons, covered in an aggressively neon green fabric that features the most cryptic text. These couches must be telling us something… but what? Here are a few explanations:
1. National Treasure code
The couches likely conceal some sort of clue that could lead us on a National Treasure-esque adventure. If you look through a mirror upside down, one part of the couch kind of says “Aurtor Sammel,”
maybe most likely a member of the American Freemasons. All we need is unflappable amateur cryptologist Nicholas Cage and a 20-gallon vat of lemon juice to reveal the other messages that the booth may be hiding.
2. A psychological test
These booths may be some sort of strange, literary Rorschach test. The 2013-14 Andrews Hall construction project may have really been secretly sponsored by the CLPS Department, to study subjects’ perceptions of manipulated texts. Hidden microphones record the most common words people say when sitting at these booths, studying how people are unconsciously influenced by their surroundings. Some of the most common words and phrases recorded so far in Andrews include “butterfly,” “carnal desire,” “this cookie cake is banging,” and “yo, I’m not going to throw my trash away because I’m an inconsiderate grapefruit.” Weird.
3. CAPTCHA, Inc’s headquarters had too much extra fabric, and donated it to Brown.
I’m sure the makers of CAPTCHAs, those frustrating tests you’re forced to fill out when signing up for an email or a Club Penguin account, decorate their offices appropriately. For their offices, the entire screenplay for the Bee Movie was probably split up into 2-4 word chunks, impossibly distorted, blown up, and printed on wallpaper and fabrics that cover every available surface in the building, testing whether visitors and workers are humans or computers. Every day, a CAPTCHA employee stares at the wall of their cubicle trying to decipher what the test says. “Maybe, I’m really not a human?” they wonder. Hmm.
Don’t be fooled. It’s a hellhole.
Andrews residence hall is widely considered to be the best dorm on campus. Since its recent renovation, the name Andrews has become synonymous with beauty and luxury. Many people, especially the Keeney kids, call it “Hotel Andrews.”
But what is life really like in those new and spacious rooms? Are the chandeliers in the Dining Commons real? What demons lurk in the shadows of those walk-in closets? Blog has gained access to
my personal journal the journal of an anonymous Andrews resident that gives us a rare glimpse into the struggles of life beyond the veranda.
When I arrived at Brown this morning, I was like so many other starry-eyed freshmen. I was filled with conflicting emotions: Excitement, wonder, a little trepidation. I checked in and was given my key and swipe card. They told me I’d be living in Andrews. “You’ll love it,” they said. “It’s been recently renovated.”
Oh, how naive I was.
As soon as I stepped into my room I knew my life was about to change forever. The comforts of home were gone, my family was about to leave me, I’d be forced to live independently.
But worst of all, the rug I brought was nowhere near large enough to cover the expanse of floor that stretched out before me as free and unbounded as the Great Plains.
I don’t know how I’ve made it these last few days. Never have I felt so much self-doubt. There’s so much pressure to make friends, choose the right classes, etc. Shopping period has been totally overwhelming.
Today, I got back to my room exhausted and emotionally drained after another day of shopping both classes and friend groups. I wanted to wash my face, but the underwhelming water pressure in my personal sink was the last straw. I just broke down and sobbed.
The chef has spoken! Winter Storm Quintus is expected to hit Browntown in the afternoon today and stay through Sunday morning. As a result, both Jo’s and
Andrews Dining New Gate will be closing at 11:00 p.m. To avoid being left with the late night munchies, I highly recommend utilizing Foodler, a website that allows you to have your knock-off spicy withs (weeth?) (and other foods too!) all in the comfort of your dorm. Stay warm, and avoid making fruitless treks tonight!
After months of breathless anticipation, Andrews Commons officially opens today. That leaves us, however, with one responsibility. What do we name it? Let us know what you think.
Image via Emily Gilbert ’14.