Students Who Do Cool Things: Super Heavy Petting

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Right in the middle of midterm season is a beautiful oasis of cuteness: Super Heavy Petting. The event is basically just an impromptu petting zoo out in front of the Ratty, but it’s fucking inspiring, especially considering how stressed out we all are. While this campus is comprised of students with extremely varying interests, fuzzy animals are something we can all agree on. An amazing sample of students showed up to the event, so BlogDH talked with them to see cool things they were up to.These are there stories:

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Name: Harvey Kalen
Concentration: Undeclared, but likely Sociology

Harvey Kalen ’18 can’t believe it’s almost November. Although he laments that his second year at Brown is already going by so quickly, he’s certainly taken every step possible to ensure his time on campus is meaningful. Kalen’s initiative, “Sharing / No Credits,” or S/NC for short, aims to match upperclassmen with credit-endowed freshmen. In Kalen’s words, “There are so many, even too many, freshmen who got the 40 meal a week plan, and are now realizing they mostly subsist on Chobani.” Kalen’s plans for the pairing program are still in planning, but you can expect to hear a lot more from him and S/NC towards the end of the school year.

 

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Name: Cleo Shiles
Concentration: Astronomy & Physics

No stranger to the cosmos, Cleo Shiles ‘17.5 is hard at work on her thesis on inter-dimensional time travel. Inspired by the Back To The Future franchise as a child, Shiles has devised a flux capacitor of her own that she suspects will have the ability to traverse time. We ran into Shiles at Heavy Petting although she wasn’t there for the animals, but merely waiting outside to sign for her newly ordered Delorean.

 

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Name: Turkey Jones

Concentration: Applied Mathematics

Always a lover of math and computer science, Turkey Jones ’17 is trying to create an algorithm that would be able to predict the winners of each Brown football game by accounting for numerous factors, such as pass-completion rates and ambient temperature. Unfortunately, Turkey can’t count past 14, so the process has been difficult. Good luck, Turkey!

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Animals protest Super Heavy Petting

Heavy Petting is great. Most of us love petting dogs, and the dogs are usually happy to have their stomachs rubbed and their heads scratched. The dogs are also free to move away from the people petting them. Last week’s Super Heavy Petting brought Heaving Petting to the next level by bringing in baby farm animals. The event was a hit among students. The animals seemed less enthused. We can only imagine what these animals thought of the experience, but I know you all have great imaginations, so let’s give it a shot.

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“Look how cute it is!” they all say, “Isn’t she adorable?” Get over yourselves. I don’t know what’s going on in your life, but is stuffing me into a straitjacket really going to help? Go pet a dog. I hear they totally get off on this stuff.”

—Muffin, the rabbit

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Heavy Petting is today!

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Despite having just returned to campus, it seems we are all already living in the Rock/SciLi/(Gourmet) Hell. But, fear not. This week is not devoid of little pleasures. From 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. today (yes, that means in less than an hour!), Heavy Petting will be on the Main Green! Brought to you by the wonderfully empathetic people at Health Services, today’s round, while not “super,” will feature professors and their dogs and can be sure to calm even the most stressed soul, especially those who yanked away from lounging with their pups at home and thrown into another round of midterms (can they just end already?!). Plus, it’s finally actually nice out. At least in a Providence way. Prepare to overhear some weird shit.
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Overheard at Super Heavy Petting

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Confused by why masses of students were acting like new mothers and fathers on Wriston Quad yesterday? No, it wasn’t the morning after SPG: it was Super Heavy Petting. If you missed out on the petting zoo, BlogDH is here to give you a recap of what went down, complete with pictures so you can do some virtual “heavy petting” at home. And for those of you whose maternal or paternal instincts kicked in as you swooned over baby farm animals, we’re ready to help with your separation anxiety. Observing Super Heavy Petting was like watching an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras… except the toddlers were baby animals, the tiaras were their diapers, and the overbearing parents were overworked college students. It was just as dramatic, and we heard just as many quotable lines. Following is a play-by-play of the event, with some of the best “Overheard at Brown” quotes ever:

12:22 – First signs of activity on Wriston. Three people carrying cages emerge.

12:25 – Students passing by begin to notice. Many mosey on over.

12:26 – Behold the chicken that lives amongst the bunnies. Does the chicken think he’s a bunny or do the bunnies think they’re chickens? Continue Reading


RETURN OF SUPER HEAVY PETTING

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The bunnies are back. But am I ready for motherhood?

THE BUNNIES ARE BACK!

As the sun sets on our spring break reprieve, we wake up today a doleful dawn. But shall we languish away, lugubrious, powerless against the tide of finals and papers that awaits us until the Amnesty of Spring Weekend? No! For the University has brought us a bountiful gift of bunnies to ameliorate our heartache. The return of SUPER HEAVY PETTING is today, folks, as a welcome back and welcome to spring. It will begin at 11 a.m. and continue until 2 p.m. today on Wriston.

I wish. But let’s return to that most magical experience. Some of my worthy peers may remember the Heavy Petting event that happened about a month ago. I, for one, have vivid memories of that fateful day:

I exited the Ratty. They stared at me with deep-set, knowing eyes, wrapped up in a blanket like the cheese-and-bean burrito I had just consumed. I stood transfixed, as their eyes followed me, questioning, contemplating, wondering.

Suddenly, my boots had a life of their own. They took off, running towards the Bunny Burritos. Pass me the bunny, bitch, I growled to a pony-tailed freshman. I lifted the cauliflower-colored bunny into my arms, and cradled it like my baby. Continue Reading


A Thousand Words: Super Heavy Petting

Confused by the hordes of students crowding Wriston as you were leaving the Ratty today? Unsure as to why everyone you saw was smiling so much they were nearly in tears? Today the 2015 Class Board organized Super Heavy Petting on Wriston Quad, complete with bunnies, chicks, pigs, and a goat in a diaper. Check out the pictures of our furry friends below.

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