Tedeschi really wants you to know that it’s closed

Looks like Tedeschi has closed its doors a bit earlier than it had planned—earlier in the week, signs on the door said it would be closing on Tuesday. Yes, there are actually four signs that say “We Are Closed” on the door, as if to quadruple our sadness.

Check out the Hope Street farmers market!

Quick! Today may be your last chance of the semester to check out the outdoor Hope Street farmer’s market — a huge collection of local meat, seafood, produce and various other vendors such as Seven Stars Bakery. The market runs every Saturday from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. on the grassy area between Rochambeau and Blackstone Boulevard, until it moves to its indoor location in Pawtucket for the cold winter months.

With or without parents here this weekend, the Hope Street market is a great place to visit and is easily accessible via the 42 RIPTA bus. It’s more than a larger version of the Wriston farmer’s market Wednesdays — the market is filled with Providence locals, cute children, and animals that remind us that people outside of the age of 18-23 exist (a phenomenon known as the “College Hill Bubble”).

In case you aren’t convinced that this market is our jam, we have a few thousand words to share…

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BREAKING: Tedeschi to close in less than two weeks

It’s like a cruel April Fool’s day prank… or just another terrible Thayer Street tragedy in the middle of October.

According to employees at Tedeschi, the store will close before the end of the month. Tentatively, one cashier told BlogDH, the last day the store will remain open is Tuesday, October 23.

This is sad. So very sad. Without Tedeschi, who will sustain us when it’s past midnight and no other convenient store on Thayer Street is open (even though Providence isn’t technically asleep until 2 a.m…)? What other store in Rhode Island has such friendly employees, who still manage to smile and shoot the shit with random (scary?) customers despite having to wear corporate-mandated, blood-colored garb? Where else can we buy a Mean Girls DVD for $4.99 at 1:50 a.m.?

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Blorgchiving: “The Shitty Era” (1987)

Who knew this image would come in handy again?

You thought Keeney toilet paper was bad.

We have all had that tragic dorm bathroom toilet paper experience: the painstaking extraction of no more than three sheets of tissue at a time before the merciless jaws of the dispenser sever them from the rest of the roll. You then repeat the process several times, mash the product into a barely useable wad of butt paper, and promise yourself that next time, you’ll just go to the bathroom in Faunce.

Now imagine a time when you did not even have the option of even three sheets of toilet paper, but only one. Imagine using a device not much different from Jo’s napkin dispenser as your only University-sanctioned option to engage in proper bathroom hygiene.

If you’ve envisioned yourself in this scenario, congratulations! This post just became way too uncomfortable. You are adequately feeling empathy for every Brown student who attended this fine institution until the fall of 1987. We can imagine how overjoyed students were to find this front page Herald headline on the first issue (Sept. 9) of the fall 1987 semester. Check it out after the jump.

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John Krasinski ’01 narrates admission video, class of 2017 subsequently commits

Hey, Tim.

If you’re like me and arrive at the Sci Li before 9 a.m. on a Monday, then read no further.

But if you’re not like me and your life isn’t sad and Brown.edu isn’t your browser’s homepage, then you probably have not yet seen one of the greatest videos to ever grace Brown’s website.

In just under a minute and a half, one of our most beloved (read: “sexiest”) alums — John Krasinksi ’01 — effectively convinces an entire class of some of the “brightest young minds around the world” to choose Brown, whether they speak in “the language of bosons and quarks” or “human brain waves and Martian geology.”

But John, we highly recommend returning to campus again next year — just to be certain your recruiting efforts were effective.

Image via.

Nudity no more: Mod shuts down Brown Bares “for the time being”

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

It appears that brownbares.com, the NSFW subreddit that Brown students have come to know and love for its users’ nude photos artistic ability was shut down at least 15 hours ago, brought to the Internet’s attention by an alarmed user on the BrownU subreddit.

The reason? The moderator explains in a comment on the original thread:

That’s right. IvyGate, a blog renowned for its  meaningless (and slightly hateful?) campus gossip hard-hitting journalism of all things Ivy League, wrote a post about the site. According to the post, a tipster — ostensibly a member of the Brunonian community — sent IvyGate the name, description and personal OKCupid account link of a female junior who posted on Brown Bares. The tip was quoted with its identifying details redacted, but the leaking of personal information was enough for the BrownBares moderator to shut it all down, according to his comment. This is why we can’t have nice things.

The moderator hints in his comment that Brown Bares may only be on hiatus (“for the time being”), so we’ll be ready and waiting for its return.

[Edit: This post has been updated from an earlier version.]