Time-waster of the day: November 2, 2012

http://youtu.be/9G1anlqrsYg

The recent announcement of Disney’s purchase of Lucasfilm means that Star Wars has been on our minds the past few days, but we’d be fools to think that this space saga is only important to us Americans. Let us turn our attention to Turkey, the source of undoubtedly the weirdest Star Wars adaptation in history — and by adaptation I mean “blatant misuse of material in the service of B-grade film.”

“Leonidas, I am your father!”

Feast your eyes upon Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam — The Man Who Saved the World, in Turkish — and its absurd whole-cloth lifting of Star Wars scenes directly from the original, as well as its confusing use of the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme song. Why does the Vader-like figure have horns on his head? Why does the Skywalker-like figure have the martial arts skills of Bruce Lee’s 4th-string backup? And why are both factions using muppets as cannon fodder? Guess this galaxy is a lot farther away than we thought.

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FlogDailyHerald: “Any carrel but that carrel, any carrel but that– uggghhhhh…” Edition

Many students at Brown, regardless of their present concentration, grew up reading fabulous literature — classics such as Frog and Toad, In the Night Kitchen, and Shel Silverstein’s various nightmare visions of poetry.

Shel took all his classes S/NC, and look where HE went

When we grew older, we learned of the glories of science fiction, that magical realm where galactic empires rose and fell, robots battled from dusk til dawn, and farm boys from desert planets made out with their sisters. Truly, those were the boldest visions of the imagination.

Occupying one of the loftiest positions in the genre was, is, and forever shall be Ender’s Game, Orson Scott Card’s classic novel of youth-turned-soldier in the service of humanity. Without giving too much away, at one point in the novel a group of child-commanders are controlling a computer simulation of a space battle. Their ships are equipped with an amazing weapon that, when detonated, forms an ever-expanding sphere of energy that basically turns whatever matter is around it into space dust. Every time the wave of destruction hits a new thing, it grows more powerful until it finally eats up all it can and then dissipates.

The aliens in the simulation start out ignorant of the weapon’s power. The children fire it into the tightly-packed ships and the cosmic death sphere expands rapidly, eating them all up. Easy victory. In later computer battles, though, the enemy’s AI gradually realizes that if the ships spread themselves out and avoid bunching up, the explosion of one won’t allow the wave of destruction to reach the whole fleet. They become harder to eradicate and better equipped for revenge.

All of which is to say: don’t take the carrel right next to someone in the library.

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But seriously, when is Halloweekend?

What a warm, nutmeg-filled burden we bear

When is Halloweekend?

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With the 31st falling on a Wednesday this year, all of Brunonia is confused as to which set of days truly counts as Halloweekend. We’re already having our heads split in two by midterms, so the last thing we need to worry about is which Friday night will be the Friday night we break out our set of prosthetic feet and ears and become the first hobbit to do kegstands on top of the statue of Marcus Aurelius. Can’t decide on a weekend to live large?  Friends, we must resolve this issue. Before you let us know when you think Halloween should be, let’s open it up for discussion.

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PollerBears: Midterm Edition

“No amigos, this is not a hat, I am absorbing knowledge through osmosis. Whoaaaaa I need to sleep, hahaha!”

The semester’s honeymoon period is officially over. You’ve spent enough time in class that most professors think you deserve to be tested on it. So, paper prompts come out. Review sessions light the midnight lamps. TAs begin the long, arduous journey towards conquering your panic attacks and begin to curse the day they told 20 freshman they could “email at any time if you have questions.” We’re all in the same position, although some of us more than others (we know all about your tearful attempts to reserve a carrel in the SciLi for the whole month of October, don’t try to hide). Extricate yourself from the mental waterboarding for a sec and let us know how deep you’ve sunk into the mire that is midterm season.

We're all neck-deep in midterms. What's your current level of inhumanity?

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Time-waster of the day: October 12, 2012

I AM A STAND-IN FOR SIMBA!

Yeah, the campaigns have been brutal. Yeah, the attack ads have been flying. Yeah, Obama’s still using that weird hand gesture from ’08 and Ryan’s hair makes him look like Count von Count. But that doesn’t mean the candidates can’t, now and then, engage in some time-honored American pasttimes to get some pep back in their step.  And what’s better than holding babies?

From Reuters, the folks that brought you “We Actually Report On Real News,” comes this rare tongue-in-cheek photospread. It’s priceless. Trust me.

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PollerBears: Fall Weekend edition

CareerLAB is not prepared to deal with this type of CV

Ah, yes. It’s that time of year again: Fall Weekend, that lovely three-day holiday where we steadfastly refuse all attempts to honor that one European dude despite the fact that we’re totally taking the day off anyways. Try explaining that one to your friends back home.

Politics aside, how will YOU be filling the hours during this most historic of breaks?

What are your Fall Weekend plans?

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