Oh My God I’m Old: Bucket list suggestions for elderly students

For the seniors who are (way too) rapidly approaching graduation, reality occasionally hits and crisis undoubtedly ensues. Have I done enough here at Brown???  I thought I was supposed to be smart by now. Where even is Orwig? I think I forgot to change the world. Oh my god have I missed out on ~*the #socollege experience*~?

And by “spring” and “daffodils” we mean “your last semester” and “graduation.”

But all of this panic can be used in a positive way! Most seniors (and college students in general) know that panic is a great source of energy! So let’s shovel some panic into the motivation-fire and get this engine going so we can chug through this bucket list. We at Blog have already created the ultimate Senior bucket list, but it’s now time to take each challenge to the next level.

(*Note: being a senior is not a necessary part of accomplishing these things. You just have to have that ~senior mindset~.)

This is you shoveling panic.

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Anatomy of a naked party

My Saturday night.

My Saturday night.

Many people outside of College Hill think that Brown students run around naked all of the time. Jesse Watters’ sensationalized coverage of PW’s Nudity in the Upspace didn’t quite help with this image either. The reality, however, is that the majority of Brown students have never participated in a naked event. Nudity on campus (that is beyond the dormitory showers) is somewhat like a secret society—the Naked Donut Run itself is a very selective and exclusive underground network. Given the low chances of successfully infiltrating the NDR, your best shot of putting your birthday suit on display is to attend a naked party.

Naked parties are not the easiest things to find. You get invited via email a few days beforehand and word doesn’t spread as far as you might think. Although there is not a list at the door, you’ve basically got to be within two degrees of separation to end up at one of these things. Many Brunonians wait until the end of their senior year to hit up a naked party. We at BlogDH figured that a bunch of you are curious about what it’s like, or want to know what you may get yourself into. Surely you have wondered at some point, what would the world be like if nobody wore clothes.  Well, as the sacrificial lamb, I found out what a college house party would be like if no one wore clothing. I am honored to present: Anatomy of a Naked Party (We like to make jokes here at BlogDH).

I was initially nervous that I would have to make my way to the party wearing nothing but my skin. One of the preliminary emails gave me relief by instructing that there would be a changing room and that I should bring a bag for my clothes. I decided not to do any out of the ordinary—my idea was that if I’m going to be naked, I might as well look like my usual self.

There were stringent rules for this naked party:

– There were no cameras allowed in the space, for obvious reasons.

– It was frowned upon to show up extremely intoxicated, particularly considering the whole bare feet and vomit conundrum.

– It was explicitly stated in the party invitation that any kind of touching, sexual or not, must be consensual.

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BlogDH’s ultimate Senior Spring bucket list

On a cold March evening, a group of ’14-ers convened with a daunting task: draft the ultimate Senior Spring bucket list. They thought long and hard as to what to include, what to cross out, and what would truly capture the essence of the Brown experience. After much deliberation, discussion, and Antonio’s pizza, this is what they determined to be the 100 crucial experiences a second semester senior should have.
This is by no means a definitive list—and we don’t want it to be. It’s merely a starting point for all your Senior Spring adventures. Feel free to follow this list, to edit and condense it, or to add your own items to it. The key to the ultimate Senior Spring: it’s a marathon, not a sprint. So make your experience your own, and have the best time doing it.
  1. Don’t get caught, EMS’d, or kicked out of Brown.
  2. Go to WhisCo.
  3. Go to the Ladd Observatory on a Tuesday.
  4. Climb on the roof of a Brown University building.
  5. Eat at every Brown eatery in one day.
  6. Go to Paxson’s office hours.
  7. Find someone from your freshman unit that you have never met/don’t know well, and grab coffee with them.
  8. Steal something from the Blue Room.
  9. Get an entire dining set from the Ratty.
  10. Say “byeeee” to Gail.
  11. Vandalize Keeney.
  12. GCB Challenge: stay from open to closing.
  13. Go to a naked party/do something naked.
  14. SciLi challenge: starting from 14th floor, make your way down the SciLi taking a shot at every floor.
  15. Rock challenge: hook up in the stacks.
  16. Go to a class you’re not in, wasted.
  17. Go on a tour and act like you don’t go here.
  18. Get drunk with a professor.
  19. Hook up in the balcony of Salomon while a class is happening below.
  20. Submit a Brown Bares.
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