Hey y’all, it’s me, Cer Vix-a-lot. I’m taking over for Demisexual Lovato this week and I’m here to try to give y’all a crash course on female anatomy. As I’m sure a lot of you know, the sex education system in this nation is f***ed up, and a lot of people just have no idea what the hell is going on downstairs. My goal is to create a Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide to the Vagina. Let’s get started.
*Disclaimer: I’ll be throwing around words like “female” and “girl” a lot in this, but all this anatomy may not apply to transgender, intersex, or non-binary people. Remember: not all women have vaginas, and not all vaginas belong to women.*
Disclaimer: I am a cis (almost entirely) straight female. Because I write from my own perspective, this article will be fairly heteronormative, meaning it is about straight cis males and not reciprocating oral sex with straight cis females. And I’m sorry about that, but I cannot write about things I have not (yet) experienced. But if you are hooking up with someone of the same sex and your partner isn’t returning the favor, that should just be grounds for flat-out termination. Don’t put up with that blatant unfairness under any circumstances!
Ladies, I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of getting bad head and/or giving it and not getting it in return. Our sexist society tacitly accepts men not reciprocating oral sex. When talking with my friends about the topic, we estimated that only 25% of the guys we have given head to have returned the favor. Sure, we may not have explicitly asked for reciprocation of oral in high school (that’s about to change), but there is still no excuse for such a low percentage.
I’d like to hope that the guys who don’t reciprocate oral sex are just not confident enough in their abilities as cunnilinguists to do so. However, sometimes it’s really for just plain dickish reasons. My best friend’s ex once said to her (and I’m quoting here): “Nah, I don’t eat girls out. It’s probably gross down there, I don’t want to put my mouth where another dick has been, and I got too much pride.” It’s safe to say I kindly encouraged her to dump him. If your partner isn’t reciprocating, ask him about it. If he says something along those horribly insulting lines, storm out of the room and end. that. shit. You are amazing and so is your vagina!
If your vagina were a human, it’d be Beyonce.