Useless Rankings: Brown ranked sixth on list of “healthiest colleges”

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Brown placed sixth on USA Today College’s list of “25 healthiest colleges in the country.” The article recognized our “accessible sexual health resources, positive reviews of the health centers, condom availability, health awareness programs for students, STI testing on campus,” and our number-two spot on Trojan’s 2012 sexual health report card.

But here’s the kicker: It’s kind of funny that in explaining why we placed sixth, USA Today College cited our—wait for it—crepe bar. The fact that the crepe bar is mentioned as a “healthy option” may confuse almost every student who dabbles in Sunday brunch. Public Health concentrators are facepalming everywhere. Sure, it may be the reason we go to the Ratty on a Sunday, but we’re not checking out the crepe bar—chock-full of chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and strawberry sauce (yes, sauce, not fruit)—to stay fit. That’s what Blue Room salads are for.

The article also showed some love for the “Roots and Shoots” line at the Ratty, for its vegetarian, vegan, and locally grown options. For those of us who are vegetarian or vegan at Brown, Roots and Shoots is the Ratty.  Seriously though—I dare you to find a vegan student on campus who doesn’t eat the brown rice pilaf at least three times a week. Or you can just take my word for it and focus on your finals.

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