Why I fear Computer Science courses

Just because you can’t read it, doesn’t mean it won’t kill you.

This fall, I am doing something f***ing crazy. It’s on my senior bucket list, but it’s not the Naked Donut Run (been there, done that), and no, it’s not the SciLi challenge. What I am doing is way more hard-core than that.

I am enrolled in CSCI0150: Introduction to Object-Oriented Programming, otherwise known as CS15.

While not everyone will be doing coordinated stretch breaks with Andy van Dam this semester, a lot of you have probably toyed around with the idea of taking a computer science course before. Banner stats currently put the registration numbers for CS15 and CS17 (another introductory course) at 394 and 214, respectively.

That being said, a lot of you have also wimped out. No shame, we totally get it–computer science is scary! The cold, gripping fear of sitting down in the Sun Lab (or more recently, your own computer), and having no clue how to go about your assignment–it’s enough for anyone to drop.

All of the concentrators will tell you that’s silly talk. Sure, it will be a lot of work, but you’ll be capable of it! Essentially, the fear of CS is irrational. I am here to tell you about my own fear of computer science, which is irrational, but for very different reasons. These are all the things I’m afraid will happen if I take CS:

  • I will undoubtedly awaken an internet demon that will manipulate me into freeing it from its digital prison, and wreak havoc on campus a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It will name me as its co-conspirator on Reddit, and everyone will hate me.
  • The complete lack of sunlight will cause my appearance to shift into something like this:

    Deep sea Angler fish

    Smile for your graduation picture!

  • The tech bubble will burst upon my graduation, and I will still end up jobless and alone.

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Shopping period professor stereotypes

Between our furious Banner browsing and taxing marathon schedules, it’s easy to forget that there’s another side to shopping period. Professors, like us, are faced with a frustrating beginning to their semesters as students flood their aisles and inboxes. We have our ways of coping with the chaos, and so do they. Any experienced shopper will have noticed that Brown’s professors gravitate towards a few different strategies to deal with the pressures of shopping period. We’ve compiled three common ones here. You’d be hard-pressed to find a student who hasn’t run into one of these characters during their Brown career.

The Intimidator:

“Are you registered? Get out of my class.”

Many college professors seem to have lost their fuzzy exteriors around year six of graduate school, but this shopping period classic kicks up the cynicism a few decibel levels during shopping period. If you’re not registered, sitting in the aisle, or missing a textbook by day two, the prof doesn’t want you there. And he’s not afraid to let you know. He revels in cutting his waitlist until only the fittest have survived. If you want to take his class, keep in mind that it’s just an act. Chances are he’ll lighten up a bit once people stop emailing him for overrides. 

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Students who do cool things: Pokémon Brown University

If you’re short on Magic School Bus clips to feed your nostalgia trips, “Pokémon: Brown University” is here to bring you back to days of VHS tapes and Lunchables. After all, you’re never too old for Pokémon, especially if it comes with a unhealthy dose of school love.

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