If Rhode Island jumped

If a mass of people the size of Rhode Island decided to all jump at the same time, there wouldn’t be much of an effect…until you realized just how many people it takes to fill up the state of Rhode Island. What-If, a blog specializing in explaining physical phenomena, recently tackled this question with post-ironic stick pictures and a brief narrative.

Many find post-irony a worthwhile endeavor, but the article’s real takeaway is this: if a horde of humans the size of Rhode Island were to jump, Atlas wouldn’t flinch, let alone shrug.  There would, however, be a transportation and communication crisis for the record books. Everybody tries to use his or her cell phone to no avail, T.F. Green Airport is fucked as fucked can be and the apocalypse begins with little Twitter fanfare…because Twitter runs on 4G LTE SUV, and the cell phones are dead. The Instagrammers are heartbroken, too, but once the riot fires get going, I guess everything will kind of look sepia-toned. Speaking of sepia-toned, Rhode Island’s failing factories break down and all its stores get looted (yes, even Savers). Within a few days, the state is a graveyard.

Luckily, this will never happen. Hope everyone HAGS (yes, that just happened).


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