October is upon us, which means that Halloween is rapidly approaching. To celebrate the spookiest time of the year, I thought it would be a good time to rank the top ten Halloween-themed sitcom episodes of all time.
10) Friends – Season 8, Episode 6: The One with the Halloween Party
Friends may be an overrated show (you heard me), but their one Halloween special suffices. Most of this episode is pretty meh honestly, but it is saved by the most unlikely of sources: Ross. His “Spud-nik” costume – a cross between a potato and the Russian satellite Sputnik – is probably the most ridiculously hilarious costume from any character on this list. And he puts it to good use, besting the pink bunny suit-wearing Chandler in the most depressing arm-wrestling contest ever shown on television.
Spooktacular Quote: “Well, is it fair that all you had to do was put on a cape and now I have to give you free stuff?” – Rachel
9) Freaks and Geeks – Season 1, Episode 3: Tricks and Treats
The arrival of Halloween causes a panic among parents and kids alike here, as rumors circulate that hippies have been infusing heroin into candy bars in an anti-establishment political statement. Though only on the air for one season, Freaks and Geeks quickly found its niche of walking the fine line between significant coming-of-age moments and equally significant fits of awkwardness. With Lindsay beginning her transition between friend groups and Sam experiencing the tribulations of trick-or-treating as 9th grader, this episode achieves both.
Spooktacular Quote: “Rich people traditionally give out the cheapest candy. That’s how they stay rich.” – Neal
8) The Office – Season 8, Episode 5: Spooked
It took a lot of courage for me to choose a post-Michael Scott Office episode, but hear me out. Season 8 MVPs — Erin, Robert California, and Gabe, in that order — are each given their chance to shine here, with Erin at her most poignant, Robert at his most mind-boggling, and Gabe at his most insane. It is a touching episode that is contrasted with Gabe’s horrifyingly hilarious Cinema of the Unsettling. Couple this with a newfound bromance between Dwight and Robert California’s ten-year-old son Burt, and we have an unforgettable Dunder Mifflin Halloween celebration.
Spooktacular Quote: “You don’t live as long as I have without a healthy fear of snakes, Bobby.” – Creed
7) It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – Season 6, Episode 7: Who Got Dee Pregnant?
Most of the time, all It’s Always Sunny has to do to make me laugh is give Danny DeVito something funny to wear and have him waddle around a bit. In this episode, his Man-spider costume (not to be confused with Spiderman) fits the bill. Beyond that, though, this one belongs to the McPoyle’s: Liam McPoyle chugging a glass of milk and screaming “YOU WILL CALL HER!” to Mac after he slept with Liam’s sister will never not be funny.
Spooktacular Quote: “Without my Mario I’m just a creepy, Italian plumber. I look like an asshole here.” – Dennis
6) How I Met Your Mother – Season 1, Episode 6: Slutty Pumpkin
From Ted’s hanging chad costume to the random Angel just trying to get some weed, “Slutty Pumpkin” is an absolute classic. Ted has always been a hopeless romantic, and his attempt to reunite with the penguin-loving, pumpkin-wearing Antarctic voyager who supposedly invented mixing Kahlua with root beer is probably the most blatant example of that. Elsewhere, Barney and Robin’s respective escapades remind us how much better the show was before they got together (This is almost a hot take, but not quite).
Spooktacular Quote: “We love tiramisu. Am I wrong for saying that?” – Mike “Well it’s not really a group activity, is it?” – Robin
5) Curb Your Enthusiasm – Season 2, Episode 3: Trick or Treat
Like any Curb episode, Larry David’s social miscues get him into trouble with a number of furious adversaries. To name a few: he unintentionally whistles a song written by Hitler’s favorite composer in front of a Jewish man, refuses to give candy to kids who appear to be above the trick-or-treating age threshold, and substitutes out every cobb salad ingredient in front of the grandson of the inventor of cobb salad (turns out he was lying). Unlike most Curb episodes, though, this one sees Larry get his rightful revenge in an epic finale.
Spooktacular Quote: With all due respect, Officer, you are not bald. You’ve chosen to shave your hair, and that’s a look you’re cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don’t really consider you part of the bald community…with all due respect.” – Larry
4) Community – Season 2, Episode 6: Epidemiology
I’m a simple man. If you give me multiple ABBA songs in your Halloween special soundtrack, I will rank you higher up on the list. After some mystery meat turns everyone at a costume party into zombies — and “S.O.S” transitions seamlessly into “Dancing Queen” — hilarity ensues as everything devolves into absolute chaos. Come for the jumpy cat that steals the show, and stay for Ken Jeong trying to bait unsuspecting partygoers into racism by wearing a Peggy Fleming costume (he’s not Michelle Kwan or Kristi Yamaguchi, of course).
Spooktacular Quote: “Leonard, you better back that pumpkin ass up or I’m gonna make a pie.” – Shirley
3) Parks and Recreation – Season 2, Episode 7: Greg Pikitis
The Joker leaves behind a playing card, the “Wet Bandits” from Home Alone leave the faucets running, and Greg Pikitis leaves a peach pit. All of these supervillains know how to make their mark after a crime, and I’ll be damned if Pikitis isn’t the dastardliest of them all. Leslie Knope would certainly agree, as she spends the entirety of this episode ruthlessly trying to arrest her teenage foe. I still can’t believe the bastard hired a fake mother to bail him out. Brilliant.
Spooktacular Quote: “Look – I’ve been very civil so far. But I will waterboard you!” – Leslie
2) Brooklyn Nine-Nine – Season 4, Episode 5: Halloween IV
Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s annual tradition of Halloween-themed heist episodes made it difficult for me to pinpoint the best of the bunch, but, after agonizing over the decision for minutes, I have concluded that the fourth installment reigns supreme. The MVP of the episode is undoubtedly Captain Holt, who is an energetic force unlike ever seen before – viciously breaking through a glass window, threatening to slit Jake and Amy’s bodies from mouth to anus, and constantly referring to Boyle as a “porkchop”. With an elaborate con dating back to the 4th grade by Gina, and Jake hiring a sketchy guy to pretend to be Boyle, this is Brooklyn Nine-Nine at its absolute best.
Spooktacular Quote: “I’m the third in a lot of marriages. I got a nice, soft face so I don’t intimidate the other husbands.” – Fake Boyle
1) Modern Family – Season 2, Episode 6: “Halloween”
Modern Family now is not nearly the show it once was, but this episode is a reminder that it was once an unbeatable entity come awards’ season. The Dunphy family attempts to put on a haunted house for trick- or-treaters, but Claire’s valiant efforts are ruined by a number of factors, including Gloria suddenly losing her accent, Phil desperately trying to rekindle a marriage that has shown no signs of needing rekindling, and Haley dressing up as “Mother Theresa before she was hot”. The episode’s peak, though, is Mitch rappelling down a drainage pipe in a Spiderman costume after finding out that the only people in his office who dress up for Halloween are “tools and douches”.
Spooktacular Quote: “Unfortunately, Halloween for me personally was marred by an incident long ago. Now it’s just a day I have to get through.” – Cam
Halloween is over, and of course we’re all feeling the withdrawal. No more slathering fake blood on our bodies, or getting to wear wings and top hats, or bonding with random students on the street because you like each others costumes. But for one last Halloween piece of Halloween fun, Blog brings you the results to this year’s costume contest. We’ve gotten some excellent submissions, and, as promised, our overall winner will be featured on our Facebook page’s cover photo all week. Check them out below:
Our overall winner:
Characters from the Nintendo Games Universe. Play it loud!
Names, left to right, first row:
Pom B ’16 (Yoshi), Zoe G (Luigi), Stephen B (Waluigi), Maddie K (Link), Soumya G (Mario), Maite V (Koopa Troopa), Ceci C (Toad), Marguerite S (Fox McCloud), all ’16.
Names, left to right, second row:
Carly A (Power-up Mushroom), Sarah C (Pikachu), Vhalla O (Princess Daisy), Sarah J (Mystery box), Rebecca F (Princess Peach), all ’16.
Two naked Sims, and one Sim that has been playing chess for 8 hours and really needs to go to the bathroom.
Names, left to right: Meryl C. ’17, Mandi C. ’17, and Sarah M. ’17
The (Halloweek) Last Supper
Names: Sean O’K. (Jesus), Lucrezia S. and friends, all ’17.
And now, for our superlatives…
Halloween is one of the few times of year that it’s socially acceptable to do whatever you can to scare the crap out of people. Whether it’s a simple sneak-up from behind or an elaborately planned prank, it’s prime time for spooking. For the same reason people voluntarily put their bodies on metal scaffolding hundreds of feet in the air and ride around for the “thrill,” some love the rush of adrenaline that can only come when scared out of their minds. But some rational-thinkers, myself included, prefer to live our lives calmly and without weird masks popping out at us and eerie sounds emanating from unknown locations. If you find yourself in this category, rest assured, it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy this Hallow’s Eve!
First of all, there are plenty of people out there who are in the same boat as you, so, if you can, try to find a group that won’t be actively seeking out scary stuff and stick with them. This will allow you to relax and have fun, while avoiding those awkward conversations about how you’d rather cut off your left leg than enter a haunted house. Even within a larger group, finding just one fear-phobic person to hang back with will make you feel infinitely better.
Don’t let the FOMO get to you, though. Forcing yourself to go somewhere where you know you’ll be miserable just so you can show up in Facebook photos is probably a bad idea. Plus, you’ll likely end up looking pale and terrified in all those pictures, anyway. Staying in is well worth safeguarding your mental stability.
My favorite part about ‘words’ is that they can have multiple definitions. Case in point, the word ‘spirit.’ On Dictionary.com, there are 31 definitions of the word spirit. But for the real definitions, I went to old faithful: Urban Dictionary.
Point is, I like Halloween, I like drinking, and I really like doing the two together. Get ready for a list of truly terrifying drinks, ’cause nothing goes together better like spirits and spirits.
Combine equal amounts coconut cream, pineapple juice, and ice in a blender. Add rum – maybe some Mali-boo rum! Garnish with a devilishly red Maraschino cherry.
Buy margarita mix and combine with tequila and ice. Drink in a cold, dank place.
Perhaps invented by the ghost of a wealthy patron watching his ghost horses race at Churchill Downs, this mint boo-lip is certain to have you cheering for the ghost horse. Mint, bourbon, ice, seltzer. Go Seabiscuit!
You need a costume that’s low-budget. You need a costume that’s last-minute. And you need a costume that’s Brown-specific. Fear not: you can have your
cake candy and eat it too. When it’s an hour before Monster Ball/RISD Ball/that MoChamp pregame and there’s nothing in sight but your half-finished lab report and that sky photo t-shirt, BlogDH has got you covered.
The Main Green
You will need:
- Green clothes
- A frisbee
- A picnic basket/tapestry/MacBook Air
Dress up in green clothes, stick a frisbee on your head, and carry something Main Green-related around for the night. Note: the Frisbee is essential. Otherwise you may be mistaken for Wriston/Simmons/Pembroke Green, which is not what you’re going for here.