Thanksgiving Week NBA Preview

Turkey Logo for Thanksgiving Tourney

Well, it’s finally Thanksgiving…

I’m thankful for my amazing, supportive and hilarious family. I’m thankful for Bagel Gourmet Olé’s Chicken Nachos, my favorite Sunday morning hangover food. But most of all, I’m thankful for this NBA season.

This Thanksgiving week, get excited for the times when you can plop down in front of the TV, loosen your belt buckle, and watch amazing basketball games while your vaguely racist uncle spouts questionable phrases like “Does this TV have a brightness setting? I can’t see the players.”

Here are the games you should absolutely watch this week.

Wednesday, November 26: Thanksgiving Eve

Washington Wizards at Cleveland Cavaliers—7:00 PM

If you haven’t watched any games this season yet, this game is probably a pretty solid place to start your 2014-2015 season education. You will hear the announcers discussing a boatload of topics, but the only one you need to think about right now is: WHEN WILL THE CAVALIERS BE GOOD? Dude, seriously. They honestly suck serious balls to watch: their defense is atrocious, their offense is nowhere near the level it should be, and they are one Varejão injury away from resembling a colander trying to stop water from getting through. LeBron can still take over games, but 6-7 after 13 games isn’t where anyone expected or wanted this team to be. Here’s to hoping they start ripping off wins.

Score Prognostication—Wizards: 95, Cavs: 92. One audience learning how to dougie.

Memphis Grizzlies at Los Angeles Lakers—10:30 PM

Wednesday’s late-night game takes the Timberlake-owned Memphis team and pits them against Kobe’s Lakers.  The Black Mamba, no relation to Beatrix Kiddo, is on pace to set the possession usage record that he already holds.  The real reason to watch this game is to see him take 30 shots, and if it’s a good day, he’ll make 18 of them. If it’s a bad day, the red-hot Grizzlies are winning by 40.

Score Prognostication—Grizz: 84, Lakers: 80. Kobe gets 47 of LA’s 80. Continue Reading

2014-15 NBA Season Preview: Part 2

The following is Part 2 of Tucker Iverson’s 2014-15 NBA Season Preview: The Eastern Conference. If you missed it yesterday, Part 1: The Western Conference can be found here.

Last night’s opening games were pretty exhilarating. The defending champs vanquished Dallas in a one-point game and the Magic lost to a huge effort from Anthony Davis and the Pelicans.  The next set of games are tonight at 7:00, and the Cavaliers roll out their new, Love-filled, LeBron-infused lineup Thursday night at 8:00 against the Knicks. Don’t miss it.

Part 2: The Eastern Conference

Miami Heat

Charlotte Bobcats v Miami Heat - Game One

Why they will be fun to watch

THE HEAT POST-LEBRON!! Can Dwayne Wade still put the team on his back, or on his ailing knees? Will the Heat even make the playoffs?  Will Chris Bosh star in the new Jurassic Park film?

All this and more, coming up next season.

Best-Case Scenario

Bosh turns out to be the world destroyer we saw back in Toronto, Wade’s new bionic knees propel him to the slash-and-kick monster he was pre-LeBron, and LeBron decides the whole move to Cleveland was a mistake and comes back.

Worst-Case Scenario

Wade’s health fails, Bosh can’t be a legitimate first option, and Mad Scientist Pat Riley tries desperately to replicate LeBron’s efficiency by genetically combining new team additions Josh McRoberts, Luol Deng, and the ghost of Danny Granger.


Washington Wizards


Why they will be fun to watch

The NBA’s hottest team is Washington. This team has everything. The league’s best backcourt! The Polish Hammer! Old Man Pierce tearing up teams with his treachery! Kim Kardashian jokes! A Brazilian guy with one name! Dr. Andre Miller! And, like, that thing where a guy dresses up in a suit and pretends to be a good coach. The Wizards are so hot right now. Continue Reading

2014-15 NBA Season Preview: Part 1


The NBA 2014-2015 season is finally upon us. The offseason was invigorating, and the thousands of hours I spent this summer reading about basketball were all leading up to today. There were coaching changes, player swaps, and an owner ousting or two. Melo and Bosh stayed with their teams, but LeBron and Pierce left for greener pastures. Kevin Love and first-overall pick Andrew Wiggins switched franchises, the draft had its powerful moments, big contracts were signed.

Reigning MVP Kevin Durant and Celtics’ star Rajon Rondo got injured while Derek Rose spent the summer rehabilitating from a second ACL tear, having not played more than a month of healthy basketball in two full years. Kobe Bryant also missed time last season, but it’s a safe bet he won’t end the season as the 40th ranked player he is currently projected to be. With an offseason this tumultuous, it just might be the greatest year for basketball since James Naismith threw a soccer ball into a peach basket in 1891.

The following is a two-part guide to the upcoming season. In it, you will find the following: reasons why each team will be fun to watch, what their best-case scenario is for the season, and what the outcome would be if everything went horribly wrong for them. The season tips off with the defending champs (San Antonio Spurs, for those less informed) taking on the Dallas team that took them to 7 games in the playoffs last year. Tonight. 8:00 PM. Don’t miss it.

Continue Reading