Sextion: Different exes you see over break


Hi everyone!

New year, new photo! “Cool for the Semester” definitely had to go now that the semester is over and it’s cold(ish) outside.

I am so psyched to be back. Break was long. If we are going to be honest, it got really boring. And what do people do when they’re bored and single and college-aged? Hit up their exes. These run-ins can be excruciatingly uncomfortable, super fun, or even just plain forgettable. Most ex stories I’ve heard from this break fall into the following categories that I’ve recorded for your procrastinating pleasure.

The Super Nostalgic One: Often found at those not-so-fun parties back home that you feel obligated to attend so as not to seem like a Netflix-hermit, the Super Nostalgic Ex just wants to reminisce. You two haven’t hooked up since the 10th grade and haven’t spoken since the 11th, but the Super Nostalgic (and Pretty Damn Drunk) Ex is determined to tell you that “you’re the one who got away.” They insist, in fact. It’s flattering, but you’re just sitting there trying to remember if you even really “dated” this like they say you did.

foolThis is how the Super Nostalgic Ex feels the next day when they wake up, sober, and remembers what they said to you.

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New Semester’s Resolutions: Pros and cons


Each new term brings with it a world of possibility, which is only heightened by the start of a new year. Plus, 2013 has proved to be shockingly awesome already, only furthering my delusions of grandeur. I mean, Destiny’s Child got back together, so that’s a dream come true; JT is releasing new music, meaning he maybe realized acting is um, not as much his thing; a TEMPLE RUN 2 CAME OUT; Kim and Kanye got pregnant to entertain us; and there are new salad containers at Jos which may look smaller but they’re not—they actually allow for much better dressing distribution (!). It seems that the world is becoming more and more perfect.

Thus, we have no choice but to make new semester’s resolutions. Luna Lovebad is about to share with you hers, and I’ll explain why I am incapable of keeping any.

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Sister’s my new mother, Mother: New semester, new editors


A new semester means new classes, new faces, and newly frost-bitten appendages; for us, it means bigger and better content and an all-new editorial board. It’s like All That‘s “Know Your Stars,” but without Jamie Lynn Spears (…and her baby) and with the names you’ve seen in our bylines.

After just one semester on our staff chowing down at Brown, Aaron Fitzenry-worshipping California native Georgia Tollin ’15 joins our editorial board as one of our new deputy managing editors. Score one more for the West Coast on the edit board: Connor McKlimermanGuigan ’15 will join the editorial ranks from the comfort of his crib. Let’s hope he doesn’t start a campus-wide uproar by hitting “reply-all” on the new, prettier version of Morning Mail. Rounding out the deputy managing editor squad is Cara Newlon ‘14.5, who will be adding her drunk, sober, and/or high wisdom to the team. You really should take her to your formal. Also, Jason Hu ’15 will stay on as Don Draper creative director. He can help you figure out whether or not to drop that class and plan for the apocalypse. All this while still in space! Continue Reading