The 250th anniversary celebrations were so much fun. Sadly, they’re behind us now, and we have nothing else to distract us from our studies. But fear not! Using BlogDH’s time-travel machine, I have visited the future and return bearing good news: If you thought the 250th celebrations were fun, you’re going to love Brown’s 500th anniversary extravaganza. Here are some of the best events on the docket for 2264:
Friday, September 23rd, 2264
The party kicks off with the ceremonial unfreezing of Noam Chomsky, who has been preserved Han Solo-style in the SciLi basement since 2015. Light refreshments will be served.
Three words: Robochicken finger Friday!
At seven, the football game against Harvard. Brown victory guaranteed.
Ferries to the mainland will leave every half hour from the Benefit Street Waterfront (Note for 2014 readers: Due to rising sea levels, College Hill will be all that’s left of Rhode Island by 2264. While this is certainly unfortunate for everyone, it finally validates the naming of the state Rhode “Island.”)
Scuba tours of the RISD Museum will also be offered throughout the day. (Note for 2014 readers: We have no one to blame but ourselves.)