Hail to the Chiefs: 6 former presidents who could have been Brunos

In Teddy Speramus

Ah, good old Presidents’ Day: the day we’ve come to associate with annoying furniture promotions and car commercials that feature some funky, swanky version of “Hail to the Chief.” Oh yeah, and the long weekend — four days of no class and tons of play.

Of course, these events are all exciting, (who doesn’t love a good deal at Raymour & Flanigan?!) but we mustn’t forget the true spirit of Presidents’ Day. Now that the weekend’s over, it’s time to think of why we honored the 44 men who have led our country in grave and good times alike: in war and peace, economic booms and busts, and in domestic tranquility and tumult. Respect.

To be presidential is to be stern, stately and dignified. But baby, they weren’t born this way: a HuffPost Comedy slideshow reveals that some of our former commanders-in-chief were once rebellious, young, wild and free and did some pretty crazy things before their time in the Oval Office. In fact, we think they would have fit in pretty well at Brown. Let us tell you why that is the case:

1. Chester A. Arthur was a sharp dresser, night owl. From prepsters to hamsters, students are pretty chic up here on College Hill. Of course, we’re night owls, too…unless it’s after 2 am.

2. George W. Bush was a head cheerleader in high school. Not so heteronormative, Dubya.

3. Ulysses S. Grant got a speeding ticket…on his horse. All bets are on that he got this speeding ticket either at the intersection of Brown and George or at Brown and Waterman. We only hope that he was stopped by a DPS officer on a Segway. Swag on.

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Academic Enrichment of the Day: Presidents’ Day 2011

Ah, Presidents’ Day: long weekend, no classes and plenty of time not to acknowledge the actual purpose of the holiday. Luckily, Brown’s own Ted Widmer, director of the John Carter Brown Library, has engineered the perfect way to respect the dead presidents with his Presidential history blog on the New York Times Opinionator. Recently, Widmer’s beautifully written narratives have been chronicling Abraham Lincoln’s 1861 tour of the northern U.S. as he approached Washington D.C. for his inauguration. Utilizing several archival and secondary sources, Widmer has effectively reconstructed each day in the life of Lincoln from February 10, 1861 to his arrival in New Jersey on this date 150 years ago. This story may culminate with President Lincoln’s safe arrival at the capital on February 23, but we can only hope that Dr. Widmer continues to write such engaging pieces that at once appeal to our love of good storytelling without ignoring the particulars that make history so fascinating. Happy Presidents’ Day from BlogDailyHerald!

Image from Library of Congress via opinionator.nytimes.com

Why don’t we have school today?

Not that we’re complaining; we’re just confused. Usually, we get off the third Monday (and Tuesday) in February in honor of President’s Day.

Thinking there had to be some plausible reason for the switch (outside of just standard registrar-related scheduling issues), we investigated.

Today is Single Tasking Day, honoring the idea that “multitasking is ineffective — and may cause brain damage.” Just what every Brown student currently camped out in the Rock was dying to hear.

On the other hand, there’s World Thinking Day, bringing you the opportunity to ponder more holistically (courtesy of the Girl Scouts).

St. Lucia celebrates independence today, while Florida remembers being handed from one owner to another.

But let’s get real for a minute. Maybe Brown is just trying to make a statement and return President’s Day to its truthful origins. George Washington was born on February 22, but the Uniform Monday Holiday Act (honestly; it’s real) ensures that the holiday will never actually fall on his birthday. (It always hits sometime between Feb. 15 and 21.)

So thank you, Brown, for teaching us the real meaning of Washington’s birthday.

Top 43 Sexiest Presidents

This one is for the history buffs, the future politicians, those of you who have a thing for American presidents, or those who are simply curious: In honor of President’s Day, Nerve.com has ranked the sexiest American presidents from 1 to 43.

Click here to check it out:

How would Brown’s presidents be rated in terms of sexiness? Leave it in the comments!

Thea Aguiar