Things you’re probably procrastinating with right now


Facebook and Buzzfeed are the obvious attention-thieves, but we all have our more subtle, preferred forms of procrastination. Actually, in times like these, we’ll find just about anything to procrastinate on. And when I say anything, I mean anything. Take a peek at the list below and tell me you haven’t done at least one of these things to avoid all of your responsibilities take a small study break.

The weather forecast
Well, you haven’t checked the weather in the past hour. Guess it’s time to surf Weather Channel for a bit. Gosh, why are their headlines so sensationalist? Okay, just do what you came here to do. Hmm, let’s see how the weather’s gonna look like when you leave for home. Looks good. You should probably double-check on your phone app, though, just to make sure. How are the next 4 hours gonna look like? Ooo, they have a monthly forecast, let’s check that out, too! 

Your Expedia itinerary
You tell yourself that you just want to confirm that everything’s correct. I mean, you never know if you accidentally misspelled your last name when typing in your info. Wait, what were the carry-on size restrictions again? Better check that too while you’re at it.

The dining hall menus
Man oh man, do finals get you hungry! And Ratty waffle fries never seemed more appetizing. Let’s take a peek at what the menu will look like tomorrow. Eh. Maybe the Vdub will be more promising? Will it be quesadilla night or grilled cheese night at Jo’s tomorrow? Gotta weigh all your options! Wait, do you even have any meal credits left? To the Banner-mobile!

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How to get your finals done

Finals season is upon us, folks. If you’re like me, that means your day probably looks something like this: You spend a lot of time drinking iced coffee outside, and then when that inevitable cloud covers the sun for the rest of the day, you proceed inside to look at a blank word processor until it’s time for bed, at which point you watch cooking shows until you fall asleep and do it all over again the next day (don’t deny it).

But someone has to write that paper due tomorrow! Someone needs to study for that test! Someone needs to make that presentation! And unfortunately, it’s going to be you. Here are some ways to buckle down so you can make the most of Cinco de Mayo (which is tomorrow, people. Priorities.)

1. All nighters. Actually though, don’t do it. You’ll hate yourself, everyone will hate you. Your body was not designed to stay up for that many hours. Plus, I can hear your heartbeat from here after all those energy drinks you consumed. Oh, and you’ll look like a zombie.

Tell me I look tired one more time

Tell me I look tired one more time

2. GET THIS APP: SelfControl. Oh my god it will change your work ethic. You create a list of all of the websites you like to go to, set a timer for any amount of time, press “go,” and then the app prevents you from visiting these sites until the timer runs out. Like your computer actually won’t let you. Is it a little pathetic you need a computer to keep you in check? Yes. Will you get your shit done? Absolutely. Now if you want to stall, at least you’ll have to do it with people, not Buzzfeed.

3. Set up a reward system. 5 pages of a paper, treat yourself to froyo. 5 more and you get a Ben & Jerry’s sundae. 5 more and you get a Johnny Rockets milkshake. For some reason the only rewards I can think of are frozen dairy products but whatever ’tis the season.

Above: friends.

Above: friends.

4. Just do it. You’ll feel better, and you won’t turn green with envy when your drunk friend texts you at 4p.m. on a Wednesday because THAT DRUNK FRIEND WILL BE YOU.

Images via, via.

The Netflix Files: Undeclared

seth rogen's looked the same for 12 years

Sometime between the lauded-but-unwatched one season of Freaks and Geeks and the breakout success of The 40 Year-Old Virgin, Judd Apatow went to college. The school, University of Northeastern California, embodied neither the raunchfest that was Faber College nor the watered-down, contrived fluff of Pennbrook University. Rather, UNEC was a place where the often banal realities of higher education got the Apatow treatment. That is, it was a particularly humorous sketch of collegiate life that embraced, rather than sidestepped, the bursts of sentimentality and awkwardness that arise from an honest depiction of freshman year. Like Freaks, Undeclared survived only one season on FOX and, just like Freaks, that one season is available for your thorough enjoyment on the ‘flix. Continue Reading

Chow Down Brown: Insanely simple two-ingredient recipes

Looks easy enough, right?

If you’re a procrastinator student, you probably already know all of the possibilities of intrigue that BuzzFeed has to offer. Among the multitude of cuteness-overloads and eye-opening trips down memory lane, I was delighted to find an article on the site that would, with all success, satisfy my taste-buds as well as my desire for shameless entertainment.

Similar to how everyone wants to learn how to open a beer bottle without touching it, we all want to be able to cook something delicious without having to spend excessive amounts of money or time to do so (in reality, there’s not really a more relevant audience for either of these things than college students). Taking this up a notch, BuzzFeed compiled an extensive list of “34 Insanely Simple Two-Ingredient Recipes,” yes, two-ingredient recipes that actually work. Skeptical? Me too.

Logically, I decided that the best way to verify the truth in this claim was to test out a couple of them myself. No off-campus food shopping was necessary, no recipes were expected to take longer than 30 minutes, and the final products looked promisingly delicious. Sure, the results weren’t exactly what I expected, but you never quite know what you’re going to get when diving into the unknown abyss that is the Internet. Check out the results after the jump.

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Time-waster of the day: October 25, 2012

It’s been midterm season for a few weeks now (and it will be until December, judging by what I’ve heard about some classes), and I know I’m starting to lose the studious edge I had back at the beginning of the semester. I don’t think I’m alone in this. Lots of students are finding themselves on three different subreddits at once, with BlogDailyHerald (of course) and last night’s episode of The Daily Show up on other tabs. Adderall is a no-go, so how are you supposed to keep focused? You could, of course, pay someone to literally slap you whenever you procrastinate. Maneesh Sethi has done just that, and at $8/hour too! He says his productivity shot up from 36% to 98% once he had a dedicated face-slapper focus consultant.

And no, we are not missing the irony in talking about this in a time-waster.

Image via.

I wish quit you!

5 ways to stop procrastinating and get your work done, goddamnit

It’s reading period. We’re supposed to be studying. So why I am watching episode after episode of Secret Life of the American Teenager? I don’t even like this show! I can literally feel my brain cells dying. I wish quit you!

Procrastination: We all do it. It’s a blessing and a curse. So how do we combat it during finals? Here are some tips and tricks:

1. Deactivate your Facebook. I used to get a friend to change my password so I couldn’t use it. On the first day of summer, I relogged onto Facebook only to find my profile picture changed to this: Continue Reading