Sextion: When sexpectations and reality don’t match up


After hours days weeks months a whole semester of sexual tension, you hooked up with that person you’ve been eyeing the most. You dreamed about it so often that you were sure it was going to be fantastic. But it wasn’t. What can you do now?

Disclaimer: I’m writing this post with the assumption that your bad hook-up was consensual. If it wasn’t, please contact CAPS, the WPCs, the 24/7 sexual assault response hotline at 401-863-6000, close friends, family, or any of the other resources you have in your life.

Option #1: Just don’t get with them ever again.

If it was so bad that you’re sure you don’t want to hook-up with them ever again (for whatever reason or for no articulable reason at all—you don’t have to justify your sexual decisions to anyone!), then you’re sure and I’m not going to try to convince you otherwise. You do what’s best for you, boo.


Option #2: Consider the circumstances.

  • Did you not voice what you really want? Lots of people are too shy in the bedroom to speak their minds but honestly how good can anyone expect sex to be if their partner doesn’t know what they want or like? Spell it out! Hit them with an “Actually, my favorite position is ______” or a “Touch ____” and there is almost no conceivable way the sex between you two won’t get better.

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