COOKIES!: Tales from a smackdown

Sunday afternoon, 1 p.m.: We drive in circles around Olneyville, trying to find a cookie convention amidst abandoned warehouses with shattered windows and graffitied brick walls. Is this Spectacular Cookie Smackdown a front for another kind of smackdown?

But we arrived safely at Fête, albeit unprepared for what would await us inside: a large room packed with people and, more importantly, COOKIES. ALL OF THE COOKIES. The Spectacular Cookie Smackdown is an event organized by RI Food Fights, in which different RI bakeries battle for the glory of being crowned Best in their category. Last year, it was cupcakes. This year, they fought for their honor the title of Best Cookie.

This Smackdown of baked-good greats came at a very opportune time: It’s finals, we’re tired, and we love to eat our feelings. So to walk around a room and be handed cookies of all varieties— chocolate chip, white chocolate macadamia, chipotle peanut butter… It was all too good to be true. Before we knew it, we were cuddled up in a dark corner, gloriously wallowing in the food coma (see above picture).

Amid all that, we actually did think about the food we were shoveling in our mouths. After the jump, our reviews—so that you, too, can get in on the cookie fun!

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Your childhood dream of an all-you-can-eat cookie buffet can finally come true


Have you ever dreamed of being by yourself in the Blue Room with trays of fresh baked cookies, and having the cashier tell you that you can have them ALL for two credits? (Anyone? No? Just me?) Whatever, that would be awesome. Well, RI Food Fights is back again, offering the next best thing: The Spectacular Cookie Smackdown. For $10, you get to feast on the best cookies Rhode Island has to offer, and drink all the milk, coffee, soda, and hot chocolate your bladder can handle. The Smackdown is going down on December 9th, right as Reading Period begins and your hopes and dreams social life disappears.

If you’re skeptical about spending money on an all-you-can-eat buffet of just cookies (we get it, we’re kind of broke, too), buying a ticket to the Smackdown has more benefits than just sugar, butter, chocolate, milk… Eh, sorry, got distracted. If you buy a ticket, you also get a coupon for $10 off Pizza Pie-er. So now, it’s cookies, milk, coffee, soda, hot chocolate, AND pizza. Save the diet for your New Year’s Resolutions.

It’s going down at Fête on December 9th, from 1 to 4 p.m. Perfect mid-afternoon study break, just sayin’. I’ll be the one in the corner drowning my sorrows in oatmeal raisin cookies.

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